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.Monday, June 23, 2008 ' 8:46 AM
Heart felts.

你可唔可以唔好再对hui o甘衰?你整伤左hui你知唔知?点解你可以对hui好似一d都唔关心?我个心真系好痛。边有人o甘对待女朋友咖?人地爱护gf 你做紧d o羊啊?除左呢2年既感情我真系好想知你仲有o羊野好。我唔明点解你可以o甘冷淡,你既行为简直无可理解。我虽然未听到你对hui好既时候, 但系对女朋友好系天经地义咖。呢扑点计都系你唔am.


有的人说不清哪里好, 但就是,谁都替代不了。
Is this what you want to say? I don't understand how you tolerate all this. I am really hurt to see this happening. But at the same time, there is nothing i can do but to feel bad for you. =(





.Friday, June 20, 2008 ' 12:22 PM
Heart felts.

This is my blog, i come clean here. Any passerby who happened to read it, keep your mouth shut and don't ask anything. Because this is my blog, i don't want to lock it or whatsoever just to avoid comments. Be civilized enough to do some respect here please.

You know this is for you. I don't want to type in chinese cos i can't express much.

Alright, i be totally honest here with you cos i don't see any reason to not be true anymore. Since we've come to this stage where we are so helpless, i might as well just grab this chance to express.

Right from the beginning when the feeling grow, i knew this is wrong. But i couldn't care much because your girlfriend is one of the reason why i want to bring you away. You know you deserve someone better. Fine, yes. The both of you is together for 2 years +, so what? Ok fine again, it isn't that easy to let go a two years relationship despite the fact that she did soemthign terrible twice. You still don't want to let go. OK!! That is your choice i don't want to comment further.

I know i am selfish to keep wanting you to so called give me a status. It is not that i don't know you don't feel good. I know that you don't feel good saying things that i say because of your gf. That is why whenever i say those things, all you answer is "嗯“. All this i know and i understand. But why am i so upset isn't because you are always giving me the same reply, i am upset because i don't even know if you want to hear those things. Knowing that you have your reasons for not responding is one thing, wanting to hear them is another thing. If you enjoy me saying those things to you but you can't reply me, let me know. So that i know at lease that you want to hear them. At lease i know i am not doing all this alone here. It takes two hands to clap.

I am trying very hard and my very best to play by the rules of this game. Pardon me as i am raw in this. I have never gotten into this kind of relationship before and so do you yes i know. Honestly, i just want you to open up and tell me what would you like me to do. I do find myself annoying too when i kept feeling this way. I really want to bring you away but as i said, a part of me don't want to.

It hurts so so much when i see you type those words. I admit i neglected your feelings when i said those things just now. I seriously don't want to put any pressure on you because i know you don't feel good yourself too. But it still comes back to the same thing, I just want you to open up and tell me what you want and not me doing whatever i feel like and you don't know how to respond and then try to move on to another subject. I know you are just trying to make things better by doing so. I am sorry for not showing my appreciations by bringing it up again. I mean, i was waiting for your answer for so long but you dont seem to be going into the topic again that i s why i brought it up again. I just want to get it done. Get what i mean? I am so sorry i made you upset.

And it is the stupidest question to ask me if i want to end things, Honey you know clearly how much you mean to me and you ask yourself, do you want to let go of me? No. So don't ask me that question anymore alright? Each time you do that, it just makes me feel like you're ready to let go. Which hurts to see that happen.





.Thursday, June 19, 2008 ' 8:20 AM
Heart felts.

其实唔知想唔想俾你睇到呢个post. 因为我有好多野想打但系又怕你会觉得我特登o甘写。 点都好,希望你唔会有受到影响就得喇。

原本3日前就应该blog左, 但系同傻猪倾得太入神所以索性唔打仲好。 唔知点解,睇完hui个xanga之后,一直有冲动要ai hui老婆/baby. 如果你明点解我会有呢种症状你就明啦。 我真系好懒得去解释。 又唔知为何, 我简直当hui系我gf o甘。 真系心里只有hui, 我所可以讲既, 念既都只系hui. I know this sound a little crazy but, come on. Pardon me cos i am madly in love.

我地几乎日日早见晚见, 感觉上好似我地住系一齐o甘。 朝朝睇hui番学, 等hui放学。 虽然得个cam, 但系o个种feel都几真实下。唔知对hui系咪已经到到爱的阶段,周不时会有要同hui讲声 “我爱你”既冲动。 我知好唔因该但系唔讲我又觉得好无奈。 但其实事实系唔讲会好d. 但系睇到你复个“嗯”字我就真系心痛。 呢3个字讲出口唔系因为要你讲同样既野。 只系想你知我爱你。但系有时心里某处系几o甘希望你会讲d令我觉得确实d野。

其实, 我最想知既系, 我系你心目中系o羊位置? 除左我,仲有无其他人?你对我有无我对你5分以上? 你对我系玩既定系认真既? 我真系好想知道答案。

老实讲, 我睇到你facebook有"chat"仲要系girls only我就即刻沉晒。我心里不停同我讲我唔可以o甘衰, 我应该信你同俾你自由。 但又念起我地都系o甘而识然之后发展到呢度个心就唔安乐。好怕你会同其他人暧昧。同你倾左o甘耐,你次次“嗯“的时候。 真系唔知你系因为你gf定系你唔feel.

我唔系觉得辛苦,其实你令我好开心。o甘大个女,第一次真正识得满足。I think i just need some assurance from you. Tell me about your feelings towards me. Tell me when you are jealous, dont "haha".





.Friday, June 13, 2008 ' 8:46 AM
Heart felts.

傻猪会做我傻猪几耐? 寻晚争d就玩完。好采e+一切雨过天晴。但系今日觉得hui有d冷淡。好似唔系好想同我倾计o甘。 我真系唔知点算好。好想改写寻晚的经过。 呢几日我真系过得好开心。 好似又番番以前初恋o甘。 我知个形容词有些少幼稚, 但真系有o个种feel啰。 可惜, 我永远得唔到hui. 我知我应该自助, 唔好再盼望o甘多。慢慢啦! 我知hui锺意我就够令我好开心咖喇。

加油吖区卓欣!!!

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.Thursday, June 05, 2008 ' 8:57 AM
Heart felts.

我知首歌有d旧依然表达得出我e + 0既心情。

好心好报 - 方力申与Stephy.

落力為你好 得不到分數  
你決定要跟他日後同步   
他不懂愛惜你 我樂意操勞

我決意愛他 祝我愉快吧   
你最明白我痛極亦留下   
傷得很重也不怕 我願意等他

還看著你(他會感動嗎)   
看你在懸崖走路(他亦跑掉嗎)   
他卻放下你 只照顧自己

我慣了愛他你怎樣做   在懸崖還是我無退路

對你好 無人稀罕我好   
無人欣賞我好 原來你習慣他一套   
從來沒有愛我 看得清楚 我知道
不必得到 不妨陪襯 但願為你好
他 從來都比你差 仍然死心愛他   
垂頭再度聽他欺詐 
期求他說愛我   
為何尚未等到 可能這秒時辰未到

是受罪也好 聽聽你哭訴   
你說難過總比分手更好
我說幾多的女主角 也受過煎熬

情況壞到(他也許做到)   
你信任來年一日他答應做到 (他也許做到)
通通都做到

我也似你的無從勸告   寧願犧牲都不願卻步

對你好 無人稀罕我好   
無人欣賞我好 原來你習慣他一套   
從來沒有愛我 看得清楚 我知道   
不必得到 不妨陪襯 但願為你好

他 從來都比你差 仍然死心愛他   
垂頭再度聽他欺詐 而明知你愛我   
我竟扮未知道 好人 恕我未能做到

你當我是知己 我看得到   我當你是一生前途
幾次也是沉迷麻目 控制不到
怎麼好都等不到

怎去做 無人珍惜我好   
無人喜歡我好 原來要學會他一套   
從來沒有 吻過 記得清楚 我知道   
不必得到 不妨陪襯 但願為你好

好 從來都知你好(未夠好 )   
為何他不夠好(我不夠好)   
回來我又與他擁抱
仍然相信我會 有好心得好報   
可能 到某日會知道


可能答案以够明显
但我沉迷到选择肤浅
愿意为你失去睡眠
日日为你写歌写诗
要你对我爱意增添







Her.

Nicole Christine Au
Eleven December 1987
Hongkonger


Speak.