WHAT'S WITH EVERYTHING COMING AT ONE GO? WHY IS MY BOSS REFUSING TO PICKING UP MY CALL AND GIVE ME MY PAY? I DONT HAVE A FUCKING CENT NOW AND I FEEL DAMN PATHETIC! I DON'T EVEN HAVE MONEY TO STEP OUT OF CLEMENTI! THAT MAKES ME NOT ABLE TO FIND A JOB!!!

STACEY CHOSE TO END OUR FRIENDSHIP BECAUSE SHE FEELS THAT I AM IGNORING HER AND AVOIDING HER. I THOUGHT SHE WAS ANGRY THEREFORE I DONT WNAT TO BOTHER HER WHEN SHE'S PISSED. NOW SHE WANTS TO END IT! SHE WANTS TO END OUR FRIENDSHIP! FUCK! I AM NEVER THAT IMPORTANT TO HER AS SHE IS TO ME. 4 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP GONE LIKE THIS. IF THIS IS WHAT YOU THINK IT'S BEST, FORGET IT THEN!

I WANT TO BOOK A CHALET FOR MY BIRTHDAY SO THAT MY OTHER FRIENDS CAN CELEBRATE WITH ME. BUT I AM SO FUCKING USELESS I DONT HAVE A JOB I DONT HAVE MONEY CHALET IS FULLY BOOKED. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG?

I WANT TO BOOK A HOTEL ROOM IN SENTOSA SO MY GIRLFRIEND AND I CAN SPEND A DAY ON OUR OWN TO CELEBRATE OUR THIRD MONTH AND MY 21ST BIRHTDAY. BUT I DONT EVEN HAVE A JOB NOW HOW AM I GOING TO PAY FOR IT?

I DONT KNOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO! ONE MOMENT SHE WANTS ME TO GO BACK ONE MOMENT SHE WANTS ME TO STAY! SO WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? I WANT TO DECIDE MY OWN LIFE BUT YOU ARE NOT ALLOWING ME TO! I WANT TO STUDY BUT YOUR INDECISIVE IS STOPPING ME! NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT CAN I DO FOR MY FUTURE!

RIGHT AT THIS TIME I REALLY REALLY WANNA SLASH MYSELF BUT I DONT WANNA BE STUPID. GOD WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH MY LIFE? WHY MUST EVERYTHING COME AT THE SAME TIME? WHY DONT YOU JUST TAKE MY LIFE AND END IT? THIS SUCKS!!!!!

I JUST WANT YOU TO HUG ME NOW AND TELL ME EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE OK! WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE? WHY ARE YOU BEING SO COLD TO ME?!!!!!![

Nicole Christine Au
Eleven December 1987
Hongkonger