Woke up by all of the throwing or heavy stack of magazines and my mum's stomping of feet. That's the typical way of her to wake me up. Typically annoying.

So.. Went through some of the old songs and poems i composed. It is funny when i read them and looked back on those days. How exaggerating i was and i bet most kids that age takes love like this, cos always thinking it is the last or the most beloved relationship. While some elders come along and say that this is nothing much and it is not worth our tears? We'll flare cos we hate it when they think that nothing is that important for us etc... But now, it all makes sense.

So yeah, this is a tribute to my foolish of youth.

This is a song i wrote for this girl i'd been in a relationship with for one and a half year, without knowing how she looked like. But i loved her beyond the looks and the number of lies she told.

You are an angel to me
I'm in love with a girl
That i shouldn't had fall for
Cos she wasn't the right one for me (at that time)
My mind is full of this girl
I'd never thought i would feel this way

Chorus
You are an angel to me
You are the sunlight that i ever need
You walked in my life and brighten it with your smile
You are the air that i breathe
You've given me strength to live
You're that wonderful girl that i wanna spend with
For the rest of my life

But now things had change
You've made miracles in my life
Cos you gave me a chance to be with you
You're that wonderful girl, that i ever want.
I wish, you will stay right by my side, Forever
Cos i, don't ever wanna leave you

Chorus
You are an angel to me
You are the sunlight that i ever need
You walked in my life and brighten it with your smile
You are the air that i breathe
You've given my strength to live
You're that wonderful girl that i wanna spend with
For the rest of me life


And this is a poem i wrote out of desperation and frustrations cos i was overly hurt by my then girlfriend who apparently doesn't treats me right.

Nights and nights she's waiting for your call
Thought she know you won't call at all
But all she want is to hear your voice
Even thought it's just for awhile
She has always wanted to say how much she loves you
Telling you how much she wants to hold you in her arms all night

How she wish she could have your kiss forever
You may not love her as much
But in her heart that's all that she wants
And your love is all that she needs

Her conversations may not be as interesting as your friend's
It may be all about her friends and life
She may laugh at her own jokes
She may not be listening to you attentively
But in her heart
There's always you sitting there

Others may come along and want to take her away
Telling her this is not the way
Not the way a relationship should be
But how could they expect her to listen
When all she knows is to love you

Sometimes things may not go the way you expect it to be
But you still gotta accept it
She may thinks all couples is loving and caring for each other
But her relationship is exceptional
But yet she didn't give up and walk away
Cos all she wants is to love you and be there for you
So that's the reason why she chose to stay

So please
Don't leave her hanging like this
If what she wants is not what you can give
Then tell her
"I'm sorry, but i hafta leave."

Christina Lim H.F i miss you so much!

Anyway, I REALLY HATE TO WORK AT PASIR RIS! I don't understand why Boss want to put us there for ONE WHOLE MONTH! No sales, no people, FUCKING COLD!

So anyway, i am in a frustrating mood. I get annoyed very easily, everything can piss me off. haha.

Shit i don't know what else to say, Baby's gonna kill me. BABY BABY BABY BABY.

BABY IS SO PRETTY. BABY IS SO HOT, BABY IS SO CUTE. I LOVE BABY!!!

Oh and we went Party World on sat with Alan the memeber's president, Mel. Really fun la huh, hahhaha. Had alot of laughter, really really happy. hahha

Was suppose to have breakfast with Baby and Mel at 715 at causeway macs. BUT, baby never reply me so i fell back asleep so by the time we both woke up it is too late already. So i went back to sleep. Woke up at 10 plus to go toilet and mum heard the flush so she woke up too to ask me to have branch and the market with her. But i said no, later. And it was raining later so we didn't go all the way till 1 i guess. I don't know why i must blog out all the details too so yeah, i don't know.

Came home and did housework. That is why i hate to be at home on my off days when mum's at home too. She will definitely find this kind of things to let me do. People off day means stay at home and slack but her difination is to do housework. So i also have to go out on my off days. So annoying. So i pack my room and vacuumed the floor today. Tiring sehhh. Rushed down to RP to fetch baby and head down to Suntec.

We were suppose to engrave our ring but we couldn't find any places that provide such service -_- Ate at this digusting korean restaurant. You know the whole circle of restaurant at basement? There is only one korean restaurant there, you'll know which one. It is beside The Soup something. We found a cockrouch crawling about on mour table!!! Fucking disgusting. Basically the food is tasteless, a Korean restaurant without Chajangmeung. Well, it is run by china waitresses and china chefs. So why is it a Korean restaurant? Beat me.

Walked about and finaly settle down at Satrbucks to play our Bian Tai game. Baby always play cheat. She win she will count but when i win she conveniently stay ignorant. Well done. Head home after that and...

And here i am at home, threatened to blog so that she will blog. -_- Ok you better blog as much as i did cos this is a long post.

Alright, finally yesterday was our first month =)) I don't really like to say it is our 1st month cos it just feels way longer than that. I feel like we're already going to reach our third year already or something. Ok that's very kua. But you know what i mean right? Hee.

So, in the end, we met at 6 plus 7ish cos i was late. Oops. Well, can't really blame me right? I changed into 4-5 different sets of outfit so that i can make sure i look ok. And yeah ok, i did look ok. Ok, so Xtina prepared everything there waiting for me at this romantic rooftop. haha. I don't know why, we both felt quite awkward at first, maybe we both really looked forward to this day so we were both nervously speechless at first. But baby obviously can't keep quiet for long, so she broke the awkwardness. HAHAH!! Dont kill me. hee

I had a great time spent cos there's noone else but only us. Really the privacy we needed. She wanted to stay there the whole night but too bad, light refuse to dawn so i refused to stay on. Wanted to chill at ECP cos we have this bottle of wine that i was dying to drink but there was no opener so we have to go Park something to get it. We got it and decided to have Grass Jelly first and in the end Gaya called us to go O Bar so baby got so excited that she agreed immediately. haha. Baby is really cute.

What happend next i shall never mention. Ok a little bit only. I want to say, Only people who is hypocrite and speechless will whack someone who is obviously a level high sorry, i meant 10 levels higher than them. Hmm, and the other thing is, someone said yesterday that i am not gaya's best friend, cos i am not in her featured friends, he was dead serious. DUH, we're in a middle of an argument. But, baby, i am not even in your friend's list. Are we gonna break up and be enemies now? CHOY CHOY CHOY CHOY CHOY.

Baby, i hope you like the present i did for you ok? It is very simple but i did it with patience and love. Thank you for all the joy you've brought to my life in the one month. I was really afraid that we won't work out cos everything was in a rush, but thank god, everything turned out the opposite way. Although i'd upset you trice in the short one month but you've forgiven me too. But you know sometimes i am jsut stupid and never use brain right? Dont mind k? I am really scared tho, we have a long way to go, which means you will see more and more of my stupidness, so get prepared ok. Don't angry ah. haha. And i know i have said it so many thousand times but yeah, i am really happy to receive a anniversary present from you. Receiving it is thankful, from you is thankful plus grateful. Maybe it is really like what LKM said, this is my good karma. haha. Cross fingers. hee. May this flame will never die.

With passion and love,
NICOLE CHRISTINE AU ZHOU XIN (CHEUK YAN)

Labels: today is a disturbing day but i enjoyed it

Baby i am really sorry about what happend just now ok? Shouldn't have said those things without thinking if it hurts you or not. You know at those moments i can't find you, i was dead worried that i really cried. Until you picked up my call, i stil fear deep inside that you might think that i dont understand you and you think there is no point carrying on so you want to break. But baby, thank you so so much for telling me i am stupid for thinking this way.

You're really special, how come you can love me like that, how come you won't break with me after a fight and still apologise for walking away, how come you can still hug me and calm me down? Noone has ever done that to me before and i never thought anyone would do that. But you, you did that..

Words can't say how much i grateful i am for you, baby.

Anyway, talking about my day. It wasn't a good thing to begin with. My mum was suppose to wake me up so we can have breakfast and head down to pasir ris together. But she forgot to wake me up so i was late so i have to take a cab down. And i suayly took a cab with the uncle NOT KNOWING how to operate the fucking Net's machine and made me run up and down to draw money. WTF??? Hello, you want to drive a taxi and fucking learn how to use the Net's machine la. I was already late and you still create all this kind of trouble for me! CCB!

At the bottom line, Learn what you have to learn before serving customers. ARG!!!!

Alright, blogged =]]

Nicole Christine Au
Eleven December 1987
Hongkonger