I don't know what's gotten into me but i just became emo out of a sudden. Maybe it is the time of the month. So today, i wanna talk about friends.

I really thank God for placing certain people in my life to mould me into a better person. I know i was a fuck-up bitch who thinks i can rule people. You know? Ordering people around? Yeah that's what i do. I know in primary school, barely a few people wants to be my friend. Because i had bad temper and i was loud and still am. So what i did was actually buy friends. Yes, i thought i finally made really good friends until i start to realise that this two friends only come to me when they want to get something and knowing that i will definitely buy for them. Then out of the blue, this classmate of mine wants to go arcade with me after school and wants to take neo prints. I paid for everything of course. Then i met this group of friends in primary 6. They were really nice and stuff and that only happens when we are out in a group. In times like i want to go talk with either one, none of them will stay and i actually have to bride them with like, money and food then they will stay. But i have no choice because i have no other way making friends.

In secondary school, i tried to keep close with this bunch of pri school friends but they really don't bother calling me when they go out. So i forget about them too. Just meeting up once in a while to act like we are still close but we are obviously not. What finally make me realise they are definitely the ones that i can count on. Cos you see right, there is this girl called P. She is like the richest of us all after my mum closed down the shop. So there was once i had some trouble with some fucking bitch that involves money, so that day i met them because i don't want to go home. So i told them about what happened to me and surprisingly they actually avoided me cos they thought that i want to borrow money from P. I was like, what the fuck? Why do you think i want to borrow money and that didn't come across my mind from her. And Even if i want to, do you really have to avoid me? Just tell me that you don't have the money la. Right? However, thank god for one of them that i got to know Lex.

She is the one that had gone through ups and downs with me until now, although thing isn't the same anymore, our friendship is still as strong. At lease i know that in any circumstances, she wouldn't betray me. I know she loves me like that and i do too. I really love her. She accepts every little inch of me. From good to bad, she takes it all. Knowing that i am someone who doesn't know how to cut short my story, can take 5 minutes to tell a simple experience, she still listen to me. Although sometimes they seems to ignore me but at lease they know i will get hurt like that.

Maybe i should start being firm and be myself. Don't do anything that doesn't goes with my heart. Yeah.

Nicole Christine Au
Eleven December 1987
Hongkonger