So, a mixture of uncertainty and frustrates in my head. Thing is, recently, i have been thinking about my job (nursing). Nothing happened, i am just thinking about it, giving it a thought IF that's REALLY what i wanna do. I always wanted a 9-5 job or at least a less stressful occupation. So why i chose Nursing instead of some other courses? Alright, not pushing blames around, just stating the maybes. Nursing was actually the only course my brother and i was discussing about, like how far i can go and yada yada. I myself isn't sure if that's really what i wanted but i decided to go with it since it sounded great and most probably the most Noble job an ITE student could obtain. But as i said before, Nursing isn't like any other course/job. You can't do it without the passion and patience. If you are not mature or stable enough, is is very difficult for you to sustain. However, why am i talking about all this and that? Because i realise i don't have the patience and maturity to go further. I find it a chore and it sucks when you can't feel for the patient. I always feel that i am suited for something else, like photography or something. Something not as stressful and formal. I don't know, this sucks. I can't talk about it to my family members cos i don't think they will understand and all that they might think about is that i am finding excuse not to go school or i am too old to waste anymore time.

But honestly, i am feeling very tired. Despite the fact that i can talk day and night about the hospital, it's just talks i realised. I kept wanting to venture to another side of the field to experience. I mean, for all you know, nursing may be the lease thing that suits me (as many think so) or vice verse. I don't know man. I hope i can look into my future so i will know what to should choose.

Right, so i'm down with two days of MC and it's almost killing me. I felt so terrible and i have the urge to push my hand down and clear all the rubbish in there. I look like i'm fucking pregnant!!

Anyway, it has been quite sometime and I've turned straight and I'm kind of already settled into it. Some may think that i will change again and this will never end but i really wish you keep those comments to yourself. I mean, after all, no matter what i do, i am a girl after all and that's the fact no one could deny. I don't understand why it bothers you so much that i am still on the pathway searching for my status. I mean, you ain't really a friend after all then why do you comment so much like as though you were some best friend of mine? I feel that it is a joy that at lease i want to turn straight and at lease i attempted. Why do you have to get so upset about this issues, seriously. Isn't so that a joke out of myself or something, in no way i was interfering or causing any discomfort to your circles of connections and most importantly, you.

So please, stay out of my business and don't try to spread nasty rumours or comments about me because it reflects how narrow and ignorant you are towards lesbianism. You still have much to learn, sweetheart.

Labels: Yes no doubt i am refering to you

For those who don't know, my attachment had started and, it is going on fine. Kind of boring tho cos team 1 has not much of things to do so, pretty much of slacking around if it is afternoon shift. But when it comes to morning shift, your legs could break. Seriously, you have to walk up and down the ward in a fast speed and, i guess the ward's about 60 meters, no kid. Anyway, EC always make my heart skip a beat when she's 2 feet away from me. HAHA

I'm like desperately in need of money so if you have any backup jobs like event or whatever, please inform me. i can work during weekends or weekdays after 3.

800 in two months. OHMYGOD.

I shall just blog since i have nothing to do. Actually, i'm waiting for my show to load. haha.

Anyhow, just got back home after "work", cos it's my off day but i've decided to just go down to HV. Seriously, doing nothing and just chill there is damn fun (if my homie's working). HAHA. We had our first homie's outing (with emme cos she's not working today =(( )at Swensen's after work cos Peining says she want to eat cake. Ice cream makes us HAPPY!! right Adri? hee

It would be a long day tmr cos we're going to clean and so called renovate our shop, it's damn cramp la. So exciting!! We said to skate tmr after the gate's close but now the problem is, i can't find my skateboard. Did my mum threw it away or i subconciously threw it away during spring cleaning this year? I don't know man, i hope to find it under my brother's bed tmr. CAN'T WAIT!!!!

Attachmen's starting Next monday and it's so scary. I really hope i do well this time. Really.

You can't stay in there anymore cos you won't remember a thing.

*Currently torn and broken

Nicole Christine Au
Eleven December 1987
Hongkonger