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.Saturday, November 17, 2007 ' 9:15 AM
Heart felts.

Let's just give a quick sum up of events for this past few days. Basically working almost everyday in Cine. Off on wed and it was an outing with Kayminn, Ney, Debbie, Annabel and Becca. Sakae-d and i was damn full. Being as merciless and they always are, they decided to play Black jack. Losers have to eat up udon or sushi. I swear i was pregnant of sushi. Spent a wonderful time doing stupid stuff in Sentosa-without-sand. (According to Debbie). haha

Another off day will be today. Off work at 5 and went Vivo to meet Faynat and peeps. Got my stuff at Giant and went to Sentosa-without-sand to play cards again. Joined Mum and Matthew for dinner and Thai Xpress. Coolios please. Hahaha. THAILAND!!! BANGKOK!!! Anyhow, was suppose to watch Movie but we couldn't find a movie we three agree to so we decided to walk around ONLY. Not spending of money. HAHA. And here i am, Home. So comfortable. I want to slack!! No no, i NEED to slack. I deserve to slack. haha.


I feel that God have been trying to tell me something but i couldn't hear it clearly enough. The voice is muffled which cause me not catching anything. I know what is it about, but not know what to do about it. Because i felt that i tried many times and it failed. I don't want to try again because i don't know if i am ready for it or do i want it. I am afraid that i will hurt that person again. Sometimes i know that i am just over reacting and stuff? Sometimes i say things i don't meant and don't say what i feel. It is difficult to say it out, but i know it's true.

Dear Lord father,
I pray that you would let me feel your touch, let me know that i have you always. Remind me that i have you to lean on, you will give me courage and strenght. I feel that distance between us and i know that i am not making effort in improving it. Lord, help me in the willingness to read the bible and pray everyday, so that i can hear you. I know you have something to say to me. God, i need grace and patience. I need to feel secure. I need YOU.

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.Sunday, November 11, 2007 ' 9:57 AM
Heart felts.

Jesus, Jesus
No other name
No one the same like you
The truth, the life, the way

I came to realise that whenever i have the desire to blog, it would be the time i should cut my nails soon. It's getting long which means it's interfering me.

Let me tell you something. Two things.

First thing -
Service yesterday was DAMN DAMN DAMN POWERFUL LA PLEASE. The presence of the Holy Spirit was so strong that i couldn't stop my tear rolling. The feeling was unexplainable because i don't know why i cry. I just thought that i don't know what to do about my life (which i will explain later). God said that he want us to raise up to be leaders. Then i was thinking, what kind of leader can i be? A leader in my working place? Or a leader in school? Or a leader within peers. Then i was thinking, what would God's plan be for me to be who i am now. Wondering why can i click with people younger than me rather than people of my age or older. That was when i feel that i had spoil his plan many many times. I am sure he didn't mean to make me feel so odd and stuff? That was when i started feeling bad. I teared a little only. But the after effect... Whoa, indescribable. Just kept crying and crying. It is really amazing how God can make your heart so peaceful just right after pray.

Second thing-
My boss had offered to promote me to Manager. Maybe it doesn't surprise many of you as you think that This role can be easy to obtain as long as you have put in enough effort in completing your task or adding occasional surprise sales figure. Yes it is true. This are the criteria. But, to be frank with you, i have NEVER stayed in a job for more then three weeks in this whole of my life. I am sure i have never. But i stayed on for going to 4 months now. Come to realise it's actually quite little but it felt so long. haha. Anyway, my point is, i felt assured for the first time, i felt that i finally accomplished something no one have thought good of me in doing it. So obviously, i was overwhelmed and was so eager to accept the offer. But i have two matter to consider, 1st. My school. 2nd, Church. So after days of consideration and many times of fighting against my will to agree. I still wait until i talk to Peck and Lynette. And yes, the decision is finally made, that is to turn down the offer and go back to school next year. Although, that means i have to say byebye to my 1600 pay every month!! So sad!! BUT, what could be compared to the joy i will have while serving in church? Those fellowship time i have with my CG? The time to spend with GOD? NOTHING can be replaced. Seriously.

And Ame, i really want to grow with you. I am glad that you have include me in your plans. You are a blessing God gave me. You are "AWESOME!!" (Your favourite word).







Her.

Nicole Christine Au
Eleven December 1987
Hongkonger


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