Welcome to my life.

.Friday, December 07, 2007 ' 7:03 AM

Heart felts.

As soon as a blink of an eye, one year is coming to an end. So fast, 2007 is ending soon. I remember last year, i said i hated 2006 and i would welcome 2007 will wide open arms. But as least expected, 2007 is even worse compared to 06.

Last year, i am still in secondary school, still enjoying myself, still having enougjh time to mug and play at the same time. Still going for training actively. I have the clique to spend my day with. Although it is only school, serene and town. But what we shared was incredible. I still have my best friend with me, crapping and laughing at the lamest thing. Doing nothing was our hobbie. I still had my long hair, although i cut it off due to that stupid mid-year (HAHA). Despite the fact that i was hurt by two girls who shared the same name, was kind of cheated by a girl whom i crazily crush, did not have a birthday party, i still miss 06.

Look back to 07's jan til now, i think my life is screwed. School word was unexpectedly tough for me, Clinical Lecturer was sure a pain in an ass. I lost good result to Netball an vice versa. I lost my best friend for lame reason. Although i have fayant as my very close and great friend, but she's going back to indo soon, which means i'm left with nothing again. Maybe i'm not meant to have best friends. Anyhow, I don't really like 07. I guess i have been emo-ing more than gladness.

Not that i mean anything by saying all this, i am just merely thinking about it.

From what we used to own, the chemistry we built, the bonding we accuminated, are now gone with pride and ego. It is general knowledge that friendship always last longer than relationship but we still let go of the will to substand this friendship. I know that noone can replace that occupacy you have in my heart. Because noone can even bring me the joy and carefree-ness i had when i was with you. And i know that no matter how much i loath you, you are still as important. Maybe what we are now are better for us.

I don't know when can our friendship last till, i feel that we are both trying hard to hold on to that closeness we used to have but i guess it is pretty obvious that we don't have that anymore. As much as i try, i feel that you are not putting in any effort in doing it. But no matter what, i will still be living up to my promise and do what i have always been doing. Like how i have been loving you. =))

Somehow you have influenced me into behaving in certain way. It isn't in my nature, so i guess after you're gone i will slowly transform into my old form and back to the old nicole again. And then i will start missing you like crazy cos i realise that many things remind me of you and when no one irritate me and no one talking-turn-shouting into my ear even when we are so close, no one accompany me at night or wherever i want to go. All this memories i will never forget.

Someone said before that success is not about how many friends you have, but it is about how many people remember your birthday and bother to wish you "Happy Birthday."

Uh oh, Birthday blues again.