It is 0149 now and i am still awake. I was suppose to be asleep and dreaming now cos it will be another long day tomorrow. But tonight, i just want to blog.

I guess this time GOD is getting into action to deal with me. He must be hurt to see me laying like this for too long, until he is handling things on his own. His work is so clear in my eyes that i can see it as thought it is solid. Yes, since i can't do it on my own, he is going to help me with it.

If you don't know what am i talking about, I'll tell you what it is.

I went church on Sunday (Like finally). As usual, i wasn't really opening my heart and my ears to let the word flow in me. Although i responded to altar call, it was just half-hearted. I just thought i shouldn't miss the chance since everything the pastor says fits my bill. So i responded just not to miss the chance.

It didn't take any effect on my until hours later while i was playing with Maurice (My psp). God suddenly struck me this vision, or goal. That i want to serve in church, i want to do well in church. That this is a time that i should really wake up and get started all over again with GOD.

So i told Peck about the calling and they (Peck and Dawn) prayed for me that i will seek GOD for help in times like temptations instead of fighting on my own. Cos it is proven many many times before that the devil's power level is 100 and mine's only 10. So confim will lose. So, in order to win, i need to find someone whose level is 100 times more than the tiny devil, which is GOD. YES AMEN!!

So anyway, i got rejected by this girl. Called ____. (For me to know and don't need you to find out. HAHA!) Which is a good thing? Cos i kind of like confessed to her on sunday before church and the callign was after that. I Don't know how to end this thing, cos i know that some corner in my heart, i still want to be with her. But now that she had rejected me, cos GOD disapprove it. I think it is really amazing!! Like, it is all GOD's doing. I prayed to him to help me in the area, he did. He answered my prayer. Cool right? Yes.

So anyhow, one thing is settled. There is another area that i need help in. Pastor talked about forgiving. And the first person i can ever think of is that thing. When i think of her, i don't know what to feel. To feel nothing, or to feel anger. Or the best, not feeling anything, cos i don't understand everything. But i know that i can't hate her forever, maybe some years later? I don't know. I'll just let GOD control.

Anyhow, i am SO SO excited about which ministry that GOD is going to put me in. I can't wait!! Cos i told him that he can put me in any ministry that he wants to place me in, be it i know or don't know that skills. Which means if he put me in some ulu panda ministry, i can learn new things. HAHA. So i am really really excited.

Alright, a nong nong post again. And i really really need to sleep. If not tmr no need to wake up already. Need to wake up DAMN early those kind la. Sian. Sian. SIAN!!!!!

On a lighter note, no no. It's quite heavy.

I LOVE GOD, AME, PECK AND JOYCE!!! (The rest next time k, when i know you guys better already. opps. Hee)

Labels: GOD IS AWESOME

Nicole Christine Au
Eleven December 1987
Hongkonger