As said, it's been awhile. Since i last blogged, since i last giving it a thought.

It was the same as last year when i give a thought about this time in the year. It is nobody's fault i know. I mean, the world can't stop just for me alone. Unless i'm as big shot as the president.

When i recieved that msg, i can't control my emotion. I know i shouldn't have expected that much from anyone, but having the thought that i would be spending alone and that even my own family menbers won't be able to take up the time to celebrate with me, makes me realised how pathetic i am. Not that i don't have friends, but neither do i have really much friends who will be there. I know of afew, but i bet they might have something on too.

I have no idea when i became to insecure that whatever i do or whatever i am going to do, i kind of like doing it for others. And i dislike that idea. I very much want the old nicole, the nicole who is so carefree that she couldn't bring herself to care much about the judgement others pass. My god, i so miss her.

Anyhow, take it as i am being emotional or thinking wild for the moment.

Nicole Christine Au
Eleven December 1987
Hongkonger