I am late for sleep. I'm suppose to sleep at 11 so that i can get my 10 hours of sleep but no. I am going to have 8 hours of sleep instead today. Cos judging by the time now which is 1205. I'll end up sleeping at 0100. Whoa!!

Alright, so it's my Boss' birthday today. Went down to Cine to give him a surprise birthday cur cake session.

Guess i really like my current job? Cos it's like, i don't really need to work with people. I tent then shop on my own. My boss and his wife is so nice to me? Their son's so cute. And to be honest, this is the only job that i really like. =)) And well. hard work is paid off. My boss is hiring me even after 12th!! YAY!! I'm a official worker there now. Weee. People, come buy my clothes and i'll love you even more. hee

Was suppose to meet Tan faynat for dinner at 6. But as usual and as predicted, she will over sleep and be late. Oh yes, i am so correct, she's late. I can be her fotune-teller. haha.

That's it for today. Gonna bathe and sleep. I need my beuty sleep =)) Goodnight world!!

Labels: 12345, i can touch the sky.

Alright, i've jsut cut my nails!! It feels so comfortable and nice typing with your nails. If you know what i mean. Hee. I just feeling like typing but i don't know what to write!!

Whoooooooo. My mum is female and my dad's male. I bet you don't know that right?

Let me tell you a riddle

Mummy: You should eat more fish so that you won't be short sighted.
Girl: Why
Mummy: Cos cats don't wear spects.

HAHAHAAH. It's funny right? I think so too. Hahahaa. Come on. Stop laughing.

ahhh AHHHH. hha. Flames to dust, lovers to friends. Why do all good things come to an end? Cos it gone bad.


I feel like going crazy. First step - bathe

Labels: =(((((

As what everysays, nowhere is better than home. I so agree. I am just going to to do a quick update and then i will bathe and sleep. I am really realyy tired. My leg's aching.

Saturday
Went Ame and Mel's church and Mel was late while i rush to our meeing place in the rain and she wasn't even there yet. I waited for like, 15 minutes? Hmm. haha. The service isn't bad. =)). Went off early for work. Was damn early as i was suppos to start work at 1800 but i reached at 1715 instead. So i start folding clothes, fold and fold and fold. Fold ALL the way till i off work. If it wasn't Zoey (My new friend. Hahaha) who kept hurrying me to go (we were suppose to go club), i will just continue folding and folding and folding until the stall closes. We didn't club in the end so we bought drinks and sat somewhere and played truth and dare and it somehow turned out to be a kissing game. HAHA!!

Sunday
So we continue playing truth and dare until 0200+. Got damn bored so we decided to check out other clubs. But it closes at 0400, so we decided to go eat prat. No prata found, so we ate Bak Kuh Teh in the end and it was $39!!!! The most expensive BKT i've ever ate and it was Sarah's and my first time eating it. Got so bored so we went to sit at Clark Quay. Zoey went off with her "BF" so the rest of us went Sarah's house. Wanted to watch Da Vinci but i fell alseep half way. Opss. Woke up at about 1400, had a quick lunch and rush off to work. Thank God Sarah lives around town. haha. And i worked uptil 2300 and i am home now.

Okayy i'm done blogging!! I am going to bathe and zonk off. Love you folks.

Do you find this wasted?

I'm rather happy cos i am finally wake up ultra late today cos i'm off today. heee. I've been waking up at 0900 for the pass two days and i'm feeling rather tired. Although my work is not tough at all but still, not like i can sleep during work. haha. Anyway, i woke up 1547 today. I'm cool. hahaha.

An answer to Selina, My work is not bad. It's rather slack. Just that we have sales target to hit, so we can't just sit and wait for customers to pay for things.

Basically i have been tidying up the shop, refolding clothes cos it's rather messy looking from outside. hee. I'm working tomorrow and sunday in cine. KILL ME!! I think it's really embarrassing to workin cine, or town. I used to think it's cool cos you can get to see your friends and alot of people. But now, i just want to stay far away from town. -_-

Just a random thought, i think i kind of miss her. Someone pop that question and i guess my concious tells me that i do.


Tags

AME: No no no, i am my mother's. Maybe my mum can share hands with you. haha. Dinner!! My prata!!

Evelynn: Hey!! Meet up? Sure if i'm not working that day.

Selina: I've replied your tag in my post. Anyway, i've got something to tell you and hebe, come online soon yeah so i can tell you guys.

Labels: You've got me falling apart

Before i blog, i just want to say "I'm fucking tired." I think i am lack of sleeo, like ALOT of sleep. So just start off with saturday first.

Saturday
I woke up rather early, like, 1? I was expecting myself to wake up at time like 2 plus 3. So i woke up and went online as usual. Went Serene after that and practically slacked all the way. Was stucked in serene cos it was pouring so by the time we reached faynat's house was already 7. Slept and woke up at 11 cos there's voluntary work.

Sunday
Woke up at 11, got myself prepared and ate steamboat for breakfast, i'm still qutie fasinated. haha. Went Silra Home and i have to leave before all the programme start because Lex was already outside waiting for me. So head of to bbq. Half way through it was raining -_- I hate rainny days and i swear i really do. It was too late to catch the last bus so i slept over at Lex's place.

Monday
Woke up at 1 again and i was still VERY tired after i woke up. Went downstaris to eat and i swear i was about to fall asleep even while i'm eating. Was rather lazy to chew. Slacked at her house and head off to town to meet ame, zan, suat and shu for dinner. Sat, talked, walked and home.

I am very tired now and i can't wait to sleep. But i can't cos the songs is not done downloading. I am starting work on wednesday.

Labels: tired

Labels: Ame

It has been a week and 3 days since mum went back to hongkong. I thought i would miss her much and i do, but yesterday, i dreamt of her coming back home and started scolding us cos the house's in a mess. -_- And at that moment, i was thinking in my mind, "Why are you home so fast mum?". Alright, bad me.

This is a boring saturday i swear. And the weather make it worse. I hate rainy days cos it's so cold and i'm VERY VERY scared of coldness.

Can't wait for tmr's BBQ =)) Hope it won't rain tmr. Please please please.

Everyone's mugging and i'm so bored.

So now i will blog about today (15/07/07) and yesterday (17/07/07)

15/07/07
I was supose to wake up at 0700 today to bathe and eat breakfast before meeting my teammates to go kallang but SORRY!! I kaki wake up at 0745. Quickly brush teeth, throw all the shirt and stuff into the bag and chao already. Chiong to the meeting place and realised that i was first to reach -_- Tell my earlier then i walk slowly right?

So reach Kallang and played. Think i was very blur today. I was running all across the court and there wasn't communication =(( And i happily never stretch after the games and now i'm kind of aching. Went yam cha with dad and i've got gastric. So throughout the whole time, my dad kept niam-ing me saying that i should eat breakfast and yada yada. -_-

Met Faynat and Sweeney for dinner. Decided to eat at Subway in holland and throughout the whole journey from serene to the door step of subway, faynat KEPT saying that there is no subway in holland. All the way ok, until she see already then she diam. haha. Forever. hahaha. Walked about Holland then decided to walk in Cold Storage and headed home.


14/07/07
Wanted to wake up early to vacuume the floor and wash the clothes before meeting Bee and Neh but as expected, i overslept and i swear it's cause by the medicine. It causes drowsiness =))
So i drag myself out of bed to bathe and get dressed. Had lunch with my brother and his friend. Met that two and headed town to meet the meet the rest. Watched Harry Potter, i think it's not bad but the ending was rather [...]

Went to Heeren to pee cos me and tsu both strongly agree that cine toilet will be damn crowded and we were proven right. (YAY TSU!!) Back to cine again to play arcade. Waited for the Lians to finnish playing air hockey and we waited years. Ate and we went BK to sit and crap after Debbie and joyce went off. And home sweet home.

I am very very tired/sleepy. I swear i am lack of sleep but i've got to wake up early tomorrow. =(( So goodnight folks.

Labels: kiss my ass

I don't really feel like blogging cos i'm partially tired and partially damn sian to blog. So, this is what happened

au says: (AM 12:54)
shall i blog?
Debbie says: (AM 12:54)
YES
Debbie says: (AM 12:54)
BLOGGG
Debbie says: (AM 12:54)
HAHAHA
au says: (AM 12:54)
but blog about what?
Debbie says: (AM 12:55)
BLOG ABT MEEEEE
Debbie says: (AM 12:55)
HAHAHAHAHA
au says: (AM 12:55)
.......
au says: (AM 12:55)
What's there to blog about you?
au says: (AM 12:55)
hahahahahahhaa
Debbie says: (AM 12:55)
HAHAHAHA
Debbie says: (AM 12:55)
blog my pm!
Debbie says: (AM 12:56)
IM THE COOLEST BEE ON EARTH :D
au says: (AM 12:56)
.......
au says: (AM 12:57)
i'm the coolest nicotine on earth then
Debbie says: (AM 12:57)
EW
Debbie says: (AM 12:57)
nicotine aint cool
au says: (AM 12:57)
hahhaa
au says: (AM 12:57)
it's nicole and christine
Debbie says: (AM 12:57)
<:o) smoke until die
Debbie says: (AM 12:57)
COOL MEH
Debbie says: (AM 12:57)
hahaha
au says: (AM 12:57)
hahahahahahahahhaa
au says: (AM 12:57)
okokok
au says: (AM 12:58)
i'm the coolest nick on earth
Debbie says: (AM 12:58)
hahha
Debbie says: (AM 12:58)
what's a nick
Debbie says: (AM 12:58)
HAHAHA
au says: (AM 12:58)
nic
Debbie says: (AM 12:59)
YOU'RE THE MOST PAINFUL THING ON EARTH
Debbie says: (AM 12:59)
OUCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH
Debbie says: (AM 12:59)
hahahaha
au says: (AM 12:59)
OH MY GOD!!!!
Debbie says: (AM 12:59)
stop suffering!
au says: (AM 12:59)
I CANT BELIEVE YOU THOUGHT OF THA
au says: (AM 12:59)
HAHAHAHAHHAHA
au says: (AM 12:59)
IT'S FUNNY ANYWAY
au says: (AM 12:59)
AHAHA
au says: (AM 12:59)
OK
Debbie says: (AM 12:59)
hahahaha
au says: (AM 12:59)
I SHALL BLOG ABOUT THIS
Debbie says: (AM 12:59)
WHOOOOO
Debbie says: (AM 12:59)
AAHAHAHA
Debbie says: (AM 12:59)
I MADE YOU BLOG
Debbie says: (AM 12:59)
HAHAH

So my mum left this morning without waking me up even after i told her to because i want to send her off. But i guess she doesn't want me to and i feel it's selfish of her because i didn't get the chance to be the last one who see her before she leave for hongkong. I think i am getting very sensitive over this mother issue because right when sherry mentioned about my mum during our conversation just now, i can't help but tear again. Laugh all you want if you finds me childish i don't care. I just miss my mum now and i badly want her to come back right now.

I don't know why but i seriously can't stand lonliness. My brother told me that he wouldn't be home for dinner tonight and he might be come home very late. Gosh, the fear of lonliness is creeping into me just as i type the previous sentence. ARG, i don't want to go through life like this and i hate to.

Why isn't my dad here with me? Why is it that my relationship with my brother is not that strong enough to let him stay at home or at lease come home early cos i am afraid to be alone at home at night? WHY WHY WHY WHY

I just can't wait for Stacey to come over so then she can keep me accompany at night, but that wouldn't be soon i guess.

Labels: i hate being alone

My title for today's post is "This will be a very emo post". Because i have alot of questions i want to ask and confessions i want to do today.

1st, Mum.

My mum's leaving for Hongkong tomorrow and she won't be coming back. Even if she does, it will be a very time after. Alright, i think many people know, at lease those who know me quite well, i am a mummy's girl. I cannot live without my mum. Though i complain about her or bitch about her, she's still the mother i can't live without. She is still the one i go to when i feel emo at night, she is still the one who will cook me food that i want exactly the taste i love. She is still the one who loves me the most on earth. She is still the one. I mean, i am not boasting or saying that other mum's not good, just that i feel that my mum's doing things i don't think other mums will. Like back then when i stop schooling, mix with the bad companies and being a lesbian. She was very understanding and kind to actually accept me for who i am. When i have problems with my girlfriends, she actually listen to my problems and give me advise like, i should tell her how i feel and stuff like that? Don't you think she's really a great mum? When she found how that i smoke and periced my tongue, she didn't scold me like any mum will. She just never say anything. I know it's because she was too upset to say anything but when we got home, she still cook and talk to me as per normal. You may say that this is she dont know how to teach me but i would say that it is because she love me too much that she don't want to restrict me. But she did tell me not to do it so often after that. Oh no, i am definately going to miss my mum so much that whatever happened in december will happen again.


2nd - Netball

I am not a good player on court. I can't play well. I make alot of mistakes like stepping and dragging. I dont know why but i always make mistakes like this. So i tell myself "No, if i don't train on my own hard enough i will never improve." So this year, i train really much. I kept training myself no matter how tired i am. Even if i worked night shift yesterday i still wake up early today morning to train for that 2 hours. I do all this because i don't want them to think that i am forever that Nicole who can't play. Honestly speaking, i did improve. I don't make those mistakes anymore. And during training, i see myself playing well and not only from myself. My seniors tells me that too and that make my glad. Because my hard work is finally paid off. But now, i think i have a problem. Is it that i deprove? Or it is a habit to blame me? I don't know if blame is the right word, but the meaning is around there. Like, when you miss a pass, was it really my fault? That i threw too high? Or you never make the effort to jump? Sometimes i see for myself, i know it isn't my wrong. But i don't say it because sometimes you don't know what you did on court. But now that i see again, i see that you wasn't even prepared to catch the ball so the more you wouldn't jump for it. But yet you ask me, "Nicole, who are you throwing to? I am here, not there!". To you, this remarks may be as casual as saying hello to a friend, but to me, it have the ability to make me think for the whole night. So now i want to know, is it a habit for you or anyone to say "Nicole!!" when something go wrong on court? Or i really make that mistake? I know some of the times i did that mistake, but seriously i don't think i did them all the time. If you know what i mean.

Labels: emotions are not meant to be kept

I sprained my ankle!!!! DAMN PAINFUL!!!!! This taught me a lesson, never play captains ball on the grass and bang unto people while running.

It swell so big that it's half a size bigger than my left ankle. =))

But thanks Faynat for the oil and Debbie's parents for the ride and Debbie and Neh for helping me up the stairs.

Stacey!! This are the things i want. If you can get it in hongkong and the price is cheaper then you help me buy first k? Thanks.

If you are not affected, then i wanna know why are you still blogging about us in this manner. It's so ironic. Would you mind not trying to act smart here? If i want to tag you, i don't have to hide anything. I can just tag using my usual NICOLEAU. There's SO many people's having initial N. Whatever.

Say for the sake of fun?? what the fuck? Fun? Do you know how selfish you are? What you thought is fun hurt people so fucking much. Do you really find this fun? I don't think so you know. I feel that you are just trying to say this to put it off. Can't you just face it? face what you've done and say and felt. Explain for your actions. Why did you say all this things knowing it's not true?

They hate you or not, i don't give a fuck, it's none of my business. Yes i choose my own friends and i choose not to be your friend anymore. I bet you and i know the reason extra clear. I am so sick and tired of explaining over and over again my reationship with faynat. You made it like it's a crime to befriend her. Come on man

It's like, your choice is obvious, and it is to remain childish and self centered. I find that you have no shame at all when you talk about me and her or me and girls you liked before. It became your favourite phrase " I am so used to you liking the girls i liked before, it's usual." Oh please, like i said before, i don't have a list in my hand about expections towards a girl and discard them if she has no relations with you. What makes you think you are such a big affectoin that i have to do this? Come on, me and lex shares the same ex girlfriends too. But none of this happened between us before, i have never thought of her this way and neither did her thought of me this way too. So why are you so special and what makes you so special?

You like to be the last girl of every of your ex girlfriends or girls you liked before, that is your business, that is only to your own comfort, not to them. In the first place, why must they oblige to your preference? Alright, i shouldn't comment further since it's none of my concern. We (me and her) have nothing on anyway. So maybe you can stop going all booboo about it and kept blogging saying that we have something on or whatever cos you make it sound like as though i took her away or something, which is so not true. You can think whatever you want to, i am totally fine with it as long as you dont say it out. Why? because it makes people think the wrong thing, you give people the wrong impression. Have you thought of how me and her feel when you kept saying we are together? Have you spare any thought about how i would feel when you KEPT saying that i like the girl that you liked before and it's so usual? Have you? I doubt so.

You are living in your own world, you think of what you want to think and then you continue living in it like it's reality. You make yourself all so emo and sad and engry and jealous. For what? For nothing. Because nothing happened. Nothing at all. Right from the start til now, you are the only one who is acting in the play. You plot it and then you act in it ALL BY YOURSELF. None of us are involve. You imgaine our moves and then take it for real and get all upset about it. I dont understand, not at all. Why do you want to do something like that? I don't know but i don't think anyone would find it pitiful. I personally find this is the ultimate absurb and outrageous session ever. When i confronted you about this whole episode, you disrespect me by not admitting your mistakes and boldly explain for your actions.

I am totally disappointed in you thoroughly. I always think that time will heal, time will let all this matter fade but hell no. This is still going on and it nonsensical each time.

I've beg you i've talked to you i've explain it to you, i SO did not purposely want to like the girls you like before. I'm living in despondent whenever i see you talk about me like this. I'm out of words to describe your foolish and childishness. I just hope someone can agree with me of what i said. Because i feel like noone understand the exact percentage of exasperation held in me.

You said you didn't want to go out with them because you want me to have fun. Not that i don't appreciate it but i don't find it necessary at all. Since you can blog about such things about me, why bother? Right?

When you blog or updating information, can you please provide FULL and not just what you want to and not those you choose to hide? Be honest.

One more thing, i believe Faynat and co have their own choice of making friends and so do i. I didn't drug them and hypnotise them to be my friend, things happen naturally so just accept the fact and not make up one on your own again. It gets on our nerve whenever we see you talking about us again and again. It's like never ending.

Okayy, this is like my famous respones towards my chinese post. haha. Majourity don't understand chinese. -_- But it's only for me peeps so don't ask me for traslation.

Anyway, this is damn late but still,
HAPPY BELATED 16TH BIRTDAY TSU!!!

Nicole Christine Au
Eleven December 1987
Hongkonger