Yesterday 28/04/07

Woke up like 6 times before my wake up time. Maybe i am too used to wake up early so i kept thinking that i overslept. So i finally gave up and woke up at 11. Planned to like, cook fried rice but forgot that my mum ate it so i turn to the packet of veg instead. So i chop the garlic, heat up the oil and everything then guess what. I happily forgot to wash the vegetable. How nice, so i use it to fry egg instead. haha. So the whole breakfast so kinda screwed. haha. Was late for service. Suppose to meet winnie at 1430 but i reached at 3 instead. Opps. Met up with LKM and ate wanton mee in heeren. Niceeeee. (other than the fried wanton). Though it's really crispy and all but i don't like it with wanton mee. Okayy, that's a long explaination. Went study at Rocky while waiting for Celeste and June. Elle, Kim and karen was there but they were walking about. -_- . They came for awhile before i need to go. I'm really really sorry S and H. I'll make it up again, i promise okayy? So we went off for Arup Street. I am not going to say what we did there but i don't know how to spell it. haha. But it gross us up totally. After 2 hours of sitting there, we decided to go home because we felt damn sick. LKM went home and elle and i clash Karen's place. Watched tv till they all went to sleep without telling me. -_-

Today 29/04/07

Spegettie woke me up this morningbut jumping unto my butt. Thank you. Ate breakfast adn then continue slacking until 3 when we left the place with karen and maid going town and elle and i went Serene to study. It wasn't productive AT ALL. We were like talking and talking larzz. Steph and Vivian left early. Opps. Remember our date Vivian Leung!! =)) Left Serene around 7 and elle and i started our personal talk cum secret. Nice outing with you Elle =)) So now, i am done reporting. Byebye folks.


idonthaveareasonforbeingattractedtoyou

Okayy, so i am back to this skin. Because after all the skins that i had changed, this i adore the most. It's simple and bright. Cooool.

Anyway, SHE is now called SHET. haha. Because we have a new member by the name of LKM. haha. YAY!! And outing plus photo taking's tmr!! cool cool cool

I have nothing to blog about anymore. Other than, I am tired and i haven't bath yet. Opps. No, i am not chou!!

I have to tell you because i can't let it go.

5 things about myself

1. I am loud, bubbly, irritating and long winded.
2. I am born in singapore but i moved to Hongkong and came back 7 years later. So after all, i am still calling myself a hongkonger.
3. I do netball and i am deeply in love with it. Although i am very good in it but i'm working my way to improvement =))
4. Always playing and laughing. But sometimes, i do get down to business.
5. I always don't reply people.

5 things you like

1. I like making new friends and especially people who is noisy anf funny. Note, noisy, not whiny.
2. I like (LOVE) netball!!! I think it is one of the coolest sports on earth.
3. I like partying and drinking all night to get high.
4. I like disturbing people while they look tensed up and blur to me. I am not mean.
5. I like thinking about new jokes on my own which is a total failure. haha. Opps.

5 things i dislike

1. Not understanding my work.
2. Not being able to play well in netball
3. Losing contact with friends that used to be close with. (I SO hope this don't happen to me and LKM)
4. Arguing with my family members.
5. Spending money unwisely.

5 tihings i wish for

1. I can be 3/4 as good as Zhang Ting Jun (My netball idol)
2. I can peacefully graduate from ITE and get into POLY and then be a Staf Nurse.
3. Be able to clear all the debts i am having now.
4. Able to get a regular schedule between school, work, church and training.
5. RETURN MY BROTHER AND MOTHER TO SHUT THEIR MOUTH AND TREAT MY DAD TO YUM CHA EVERY SUNDAY ALSO TO SHUT HIS MOUTH.

Oh yes, my blood is black!! haha. Cos there is this 2 cm pencil lit went into my finger. Which part of the finger? The part right where your finger nail ends. NOT PAINFUL AT ALL WHAT!! So i worked with this painful finger of mine the whole day. MY GOODNESS. It was torture. So i kept feeling my heart beat on the wound. hahaa. Freaking-ly funny. haha

Leave it nicole

Don't know what happened but my cheek became rosy since yesterday till now. Hahaha.

Anyway, i was mad today. Like went crazy? I was very hyper and all the whole day. And even the irritating teacher didn't irritate me today. hahaah. It is either she became nicer or i was just too happy to bother about her. Was very hyper. So when we knock off, as usual, i will be drinking water from my water bottle. So i used the bottle to play shooting game, like, in CS those kind? haha. I was like hiding behind trolleys and pilars, i was totally into the game man. But it cracks up this patient was was suppose to be sleeping!! haha. While my friends continue walking out of the ward, how nice. But they ar so used to it, it doesn't matter to them anymore. haha.

Hahaha, i purposely close the door today so my neighbour cannot look into the house. One thing i really really dislike about living in a hosue along the corridor is that, people walk pass and they like to look in. I mean, WHY YOU WANT TO BE SO KPO AH? And wouldn't you feel embarassed that that resident caught you looking? I don't think my neighbours feel so, because they just continue looking at you when you look at them. -_-. whoot!! So i don't like neighbours. Especially those who like to come into your house like as though they live in here also. If you know what i mean =))

I am going to change blogskin very very soon. hee. Oh my!! I can't believe that only 15 minutes past. haha

youredrivingmecrazy

Labels: i'm going crazy

My mum took my old binder to bind her protruding stomach and said this.


Mum: Can you teach me how to wear this?

Me: -Ultra shock that she told my binder-

Mum: This is so small, how you bind your breast with this?

Me: Errrrr, because my boob's is smaller than your stomach?

Mum: -Gave me a taiji palm on my forehead-

Me: -Fell off the chair-

Mum: -Walked out of the room with her hand remain in that taiji palm position-

-_-

And later at night, i can't help but keep wondering if ame is somehow related to her.

Labels: violent mum

I tell you, i had the most Annoying person on earth as my clinical lecturer i swear!! I don't understand why but she is pin pointing at every single one of us in every single thing we do. It's like. WHAT THE HELL!!

On the first day, i was late. According to her. Cos my time says 0743 and hers says 0746. FINE!! I was like, whatever. Then i was late today cos there was a jam due to the rain. Eh, for your info, I leave teh house as usual. The same time same bus. But because it is raining, that is why it is jamming. Make sense right? But too bad for me that she doesn't have sense la. So she make me report at 0630 instead of 0645 for mornign shift and 1230 instead of 1244 for afternoon shift. I mean, i really don't mind coming early you know, i won't even mind if you ask me to report one hour earlier. But what pisses me off is the way she scolded me for being late. Like i want to be late, Like i purposely leave the house later, Like i can make the sky rain so i can have an excuse to be late. Like, i don't take nursing seriously. All this is only what she thinks please.

To be honest, i love my work so much that i can skip my lunch and break just to stay back and help out. I enojy so much when i can clean my patient that i don't mind doing it over and over again. I love it so much that i would read my patient's report over and over again so that i can know them better. All this is what i do and what i love. But she don't understand. When i didn't hear that the patient is on NBM. Not like i purposely DONT hear that part right? I mean, if i did not hear it then okayy, i am not paying enough attention but dont you ever say that i am totally shut off.

I believe the whole team is very hard working. So please mind your words when you want to talk to us or correct us. Because your words is so demoralizing that it pisses us off and spoils our mood. If you are really out to do us good. Encourage us and talk to us nicely and not like as though we are a group of snobs.

Labels: irritating piece of shit

Raising my glass
I sing a toast to midnight sky
I wonder why
The stars don't seem to guide me

I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name
For what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with a ghost of you and me


How did i fell in love, with you looking just like that?

Labels: I know it wont happen. i know

I am going to blog quite alot today.

I think i got it quite nicely down today. haha. Because;

I got patients laughing with me and sayang me.
I got teacher being impress at my answer.
I got to feed the patient. (Thought it took me one and a half hour)

Attachment was more than i expected. I went with fear but now i'm full of expectations. =))

I am feeling so tired and all. So sure that i will fall asleep by 9. haha

Today was passed by irritated-ly. haha. By who? Lim Kar Mun, i mean, who else right? Hahaha. The way she refuse to talk to me for good few minutes. Why? Reason being this girl whom she seems to know very well, looks like she is being bullied by her "boyfriend". So everything the Boyfriend do, LKM will say that he is bullying. So i said that she's irritating. So she refuse to talk to me after that a few minutes. -_-

Anyway, Attachment's tomorrow. A 34 holiday is over. A wasted one tho. =(( I don't know what kind of feelings shall i be expecting from this attachment. But i am defiantely afraid of the Stuff Nurses who is very well-known to be FIERCE!! Yes, they turn red when they get angry. So scary please. Then you can see traffic light when a stuff nurse is scolding me. Why? Because;
Stuff nurse turn RED
My teacher stay nutural so she is YELLOW
i will be scared, so i turn GREEN

i'm very nervous about tomorrow, that's why. Sorry.

Labels: sarang hae yo

I was chatting with debbie online and she asked me to view this junior photo. Which is her sister but she denied it. Maybe because her sister's a lian. But there is one thing that debbie can never hide away from, it is the way she types.


Debbie say:
miiie ish n0rrhs liAnZ
Debbie say:
eUu denb lianZ

Well, you saw it for yourself. hahaha. Debbie, i am so disappointed in you. Didn't know you are so lian.

WONG PUI YAN IS A BIG FAT LIAR.

Cos she said that she will come online and until now, i am still waiting for her. WPY you that's it man. haha

Anyway, Friendly with RJ. Quite a good game actually. But CJ girl is much more friendly than RJ girls. Oh well. But why they kept keeping quiet when their players contact, i have no idea why. But that was very cheater of them. ORH HOR!! kkkk whyyy.

I really need to brush up my staminals. Cos there is much mor games. Wooo.


There can be miracles, if you believe

So i went all the way to TP this morning to submit the transfer form at the HDB Hub and then they told me that due to certain regulation, the form cannot be accepted and i need to come back again with a corrected form. I was like, Sooooooo. I woke up so early to come here but cannot proceed. -_-

So i decided to go Serene and study there. Not very productive. Cos not long after i start studying, Bunches of St Marg's girls came and talked rather softly. So only quater went into my head. Karmun came to accompany cos Alyssa can't make it. So while waiting for her to come, she KEPT calling me and talked about things that can be talked about when she come. But no, she will call and call. So my now my phone is left with $0.01. How pathetic? Hahaha. But you know, LKM is always so nice to me. She helped me top up my card. I know all of you is jealous that i have such a good friend. But SORRY!! She's mine!! -_-

So we crapped like nobody's business. Really just sit there and do nothing but CRAP. Hahaha. Read somebody's blog and we have to read it so secretively cos that person's friend's around. hahaha. And we were like, talking to each other through the comp. Tell me that we are lame. I know. Hhaha. But we had a fun time laughing like shit. hahaha

Anyway, I forgot that today's Thursday and i am suppose to have CG until Pui Wah and Mila came to my table. Sooooo...... But only Mila and Puiwah turn up for CG. The rest all cannot make it. hmmmm..

And we wrote out this whole list of people that we _____ and people we were ____ before. Oh so interesting. LMK finally confess to me this person she can't forget the most. Wah, so chi qing please. hahahahaha. LMK is so going to kill me after reading this. haha

I commanded her to go online but so much of me going online?? But it's not my fault, msn REFUSED to log me in again. As i said before, msn is not a very good friend to keep.

Today is Wednesday. A good and bad day.

Good.
I finally got my ITE Ez -ink card done. Was suppose to get it done a month ago.
I finally got my Hep B jab when i was suppose to get it 2 months ago.
Ame help me pay 5 bucks for the Jab.
Gaya help me pay for my dinner.
Woke up earlier than yesterday.

Bad.
I went to Bouna Vista cos i thought the Customer Service thing is still there but realised that the whole place is under renovation. $1 wasted. So went to Tiong Bahru to make my ez-link card instead. 1.10 wasted.

In order to use the new ez-link card, i have to activate it. Which cost me another 1 buck.

Wanted to top up 5 bucks only cos i need to pay for the Jab which cost $18.90. But instead of topping up 5 bucks, i top up 10 bucks. Only realising it after i tapped. SO!!

Got my Jab and my left arm's aching. I hope it will be healed by friday cos i'm having friendly. And i hope that i would be able to take out my sports bra without using so much effort. If you know what i mean.

I wanted for my brother for half an hour outside his camp cos i can't go in. Those guards standing at the gate kept looking at me like as though they have never seen any other human beings other than their camp members. -_- . After passing me the stuff, i asked him to walk me to the busstop cos it was very dark, the busstop don't have light you see. But how nice my brother is? He walk me half way and ran back. (please imagine the kind of expression i have on my face). hmm. If he want to run back and laugh means..............


Anyhow, CG's tmr!! Going to study in serene first. People rather need to study bio already ah. hahaa.


Situations when you can't take out your shirt/sports bra normally;
-You have sunburn
-You have muscle ache
-When you never shave your armpit. (for shirt)

My mum wants me to wash the dishes before i go to sleep. But i very lazy nehzzzzzzzzzzzz. OHMIGOD!! That was so LKM please. She influence me like shit. -_- . This is bad.

Was at Sharon's wedding yesterday. CONGRATULATION!! =))

So i decided to reach SRC earlier since i was late last week and Nursing has taught us to always turn up 15-30 minutes earlier than reporting time. Alright, i reached 1 hour earlier instead. I was the first one there so i decided to have a run round the field. It was drizzling, a little. So i was like, praying as i was running that the rain would go away so that we can train and i wouldn't have waste a bus trip to come here. But i guess God wants me to rest (cos my shoulder is still hurting badly), so he decided to let it continue raining. So after i came back from the run, i receive the message from sharon that training is cancelled. And i was like, .... so i come all the way to city hall just to run one round?

Question : Will you go this far for GOD?

We often have passions and goals we want to achieve to glorifies LORD's name. We really do want to and we even plan out what to do. But many of times, we failed to do complete it. Reason being rejections, faded passions, busy schedules that make us all tired to work on it, and not trusting in God. When all this happens, it is so easy for us to give up. At most, wait for the next meeting or CG or service to fill us with passion again. As i look at the picture above, i see the urgency the guy feel behind, i see the reckless in the guy who held on to the blue shirt guy. I see the eager-ness of the guy in blue shirt who wants to break free. I can tell they are putting in ALL the effort they can to do their best. Be it the green one or the blue one. I see the hardship, and at the end of the day, they are only human. Like me and you, if someone can go all out like this, why can't i? They worked their way out mentally and physically.

So i want to be like them. Feel it in my heart, just like how much passion they have to win this game. I was so go all out physiclally like how he grab on to the other's guy waist. Even knowing that he might go through a very bad fall. I want to feel like them.

Feel it in my heart, put it into actions. =))


Anyway, i'm having sore troat and flu and headache. I feel sick =((

Alright, i wanted to like blog about what happened today but it is all fine now. I feel very contented because the knots in my heart is finally all untied. All the grudges i held in my heart towards people in my clique, i let them go finally.

Anyway, it is true. That our clique was never a clique. So now that we are no longer a clique i feel so relieved now. =)) Bu twe are still best friend afterall.

So this is actually what i want to say to everybody. That please don't think that i don't want to meet you sometimes. Like, i am putting GOD as my first piority.Meaning church thing come first. Not because i am like, WAH, so HOLY out of a sudden. So days like saturday, i won't be able to go out with you people. I am sorry but i would really like to save my saturday for God and friends too. I don't know what can i say so that you all will understand.

How can i express my feelings? What can i say or what can i do? In order to let the world really know the urgency i/we feel towards people coming to christ. What i really feel deep in my heart is that, how i wish that my friends can be on the same path as me. Serving God and having the same passion of growing in christ together because i don't want to leave you people. I want to be in heaven with you girls together enjoying the peace in heaven. This is what i want to do. I love you girls very much. But God love you much much more than i do.

Service today was simply GREAT!! God touched my heart once again. It was went Pastor Jeff said "God loves you". He repeated it for twice. And it was went it really hit me. God loves you. So simple yet hit me so hard. I felt the rush of guilt in my heart when he said it the second time. I hate myself so much that God had made so much sacrifies for me yet i took it for granted. Why would a GOD die for me? Mind you, we are talking about a GOD here. Died for me so that i could be free, but what am i doing here? Sinning again and again cos i know that GOD will forgive me at the end of the day once i asked him to. But i don't want to live my life like this anymore, I want to grow in GOD and walk with him closely. Because i know that being a christian isn't only about coming church on saturday and forget about him totally. It is about living life with GOD every single day. But yet on any other day, i will just live life like i have no GOD in me. I say "fuck", i smoke, i look at girls in the lesbian way and even now, i am not even able to identify my own label. Why is that so? Because a part of me wants to stay as a lesbian.

But now, i want to be different. I no longer want to live life like this. I want to renew my spiritual life with GOD. I want to turn straight, i want to quit smoking, i want to stop saying vulgarities. Not because being a christian you can't do all this, But because it falls short of the perfection of GOD. I love you JESUS!!

Anyway, i am sorry that i did not join you girls today.

I have something to blog about. But i have not such much time now, so i will do it tomorrow. Till then, miss me

And love GOD.

Labels: At the cross

Today was REAL fun!! It feel so right being with you guys =)) Many things happened today that makes it all so funny. I enjoyed myself ALOT!!

Anyway, it is 00:51 6th April 2007 Friday. (Good Friday)


Jesus was nailed on his palm and foot against the cross to hold his weight.

Labels: Good friday

Finally successful for this blogskin. Not bad isn't it? haha. Happens to be LKM's current fave song.

Anyway, Sharon brought up about friends i once close with but haven been contacting for a long time. So i thought of this people and the things we did together:

Wong Kwan Wai -

• Stole from Cold Storage and Kinokuniya like my dad owns the store.
• Smoke at lease one hard pack of cigarette each day.
• Swim or play basketball at night everyday after towning.
• I sat on your rice cooker cos i mistook it for the stool and everyone laughed at me especially your mum?
• We talked and laugh at the same old lame joke over and over again.
• Finding fault with people almost everyday.
• Sitting at TAKA B3 to disttribute things that we have stolen.

Lex Teo Zuo En -

• Go town everyday to get girls number.
• Monks every friday.
• Night shopping.
• Steal from all over the place.
• Skip school everyday.
• Wait outside St Nick's and PLMGS for our girlfriends.
• We date girl that is our girlfriend's best friend.
• Singing our song.
• YOU CUT MY HAIR WITH ONE ULTRA WEIRD HOLE.

This is the two that i can currently think of. Will fill in more when i recall. Till then, Take care

Ciao

Labels: OUTING TOMORROW

I woke up at 2:24 P.M today. How early?? haha. Being very diciplined, i took my laptop to put it into my brother's room instead of putting it on the table. Cos Nicole's getting down to business to study!! Not very possible for me to not go online. So i gave myself a pat on the shoulder right after leaving my brother's room. =))

Studied all the way from 3 to 5:15. Now everybody say "WHOA!!". Cos this is the second time i touched my notes since beginning of holidays. Nicole is a the laziest on earth. Now everybody say "YES!!". Cos i know you agree. haha

Cooked Campbell's Golden Corn soup with egg. Was in a rush so i was trying to gulp it down fast. My tongue's "well done" now. Quick packed my bag and dashed out like dash in "The Incredibles" out of the house. Met my mum when i got down and she gave me coins to take bus. How pathetic can i ever get? THIS!!

Was 10 mintues late for training. At first, i only walked faster than ever. Since many told me that my normal is speed is like speeding. So i suppose my "walk faster" is pretty fast. Back to my point, i didn't see why i should run since it's only 10 minutes and usually, training starts at about 7:15. But!!! BUT BUT BUT BUT!! Today's different. When i walked towards the courts. I saw everyone lining up, with a man standing infront of them. OH-MY-GOD!! Jiao Lian came back!! I was like, oh shit. First training with him and i'm late. How nice -_- I thought he's still in Hongkong please. According to Ping zi. Well oh well.

Training wasn't bad. I see improvement in myself. Or maybe, it was Limin who was guiding me well. haha. Either way, Thank you Wong Limin!! =))

Last of all, Result's coming out tomorow. Ready for retest NICOLE!! hahahaha. Farzana, you too. hahah. As for Charlene, she can happily just stay home and worry things like, how to win more in Genting. hahah

Labels: This is getting harder

I tried to change my blogskin for the whole of yesterday and today but something went wrong in between here and there so i gave up and decided to stay with this blogskin.

Woke up early today. 1 o'clock!! Breakthrough. But partially because i know that my mum will be home early today and i didn't like the idea of her coming to my room and shout at me for waking up so late. So i slide myself out of bed before i fall back to bed.

Mum called right after i brushed my teeth and ask me to go down for lunch. Alrightyyyy. Mind you, i was wearing shirt and PE short and slipper with my hand holding my water bottle, walking unglamly as usual, i was laughing with my mouth open widely. And suddely my mum called out: "JUN XIAN!!" And immediately, my heart stopped!! (Just so you know, Jun Xian is Dangou, This guy that i liked for 5 years). OH-MY-GOD!! I can't believe that my mum was so brainless to stopped and talk to him please. So he left and i was like, "MUMMY!!! Not funny okayy!! How can you even stop him??" And my mum thought that my facial expression was very funny. Oh, my mum knows about my huge crush on him. That is why she finds it so funny. -_-

Anyway, i only managed to finnish up one of the 4 on my agenda for today

AGENDA FOR 2th APRIL 2007

1. Study Bio and Nursing studies for 2 hours each.
2. Go for evening run.
3. Download song.
4. Change blogskin.

Sigh, I guess staying at home makes me feel very lazy to do anything.

I need money badly now. I don't even have money to go anywhere out of clementi. This is how pathetic i am. I don't think mum wants to give me 80 bucks. Dammit man. How i wish i'm rich. Or haev a rich partner.

Labels: kill me

Alright. Just came back from Clara's house. My god!! We (Me, Clara, June and Celest) had so much fun, but no point asking clara cos she slept damn early. Like, 12 plus? Whereas the rest of us all slept at 5 plus. haha. We air-jammed, We pranked, We laughed, We tickled, We talked, then we Slept.

Anyway, just an update of my status now.

I am financially broke!! My dad refuse to see me until i settle my phone bill which i s 5 hundred plus. Where am i going to get the money? I don't know. Since he is the source of my money. And the Lawyers might be coming up to my house in anytime soon.

As i had mentioned earlier on, that my mum is selling the flat and that i have no place to go? Up till now, still the same. And my mum is not going for half a year anymore. She's going for a year.

Sharon is getting married tomorrow and i have no money at all to give her red pocket. I am a bad friend, i know.

My mum don't want to give me money, so i have no money at all.

In conclusion, NICOLE CHRISTINE AU ZHOU XIN IS PRONOUCED BANKRUP

Labels: I really wish i'm dead

Nicole Christine Au
Eleven December 1987
Hongkonger