Alright, i have been skipping service for GOD knows how long. I felt so bad about it, seriously. Sometimes i relly don't understand some thinking that lives in me. I want to go church, that is for sure. But why is it that the willlingness of going is not that strong. I miss those times when i used to look forward to Saturday so much because i want to meet GOD and i want to replenish the passion in my heart to share christ to people, loving people that is difficult to love, for the week. Things was all going on well i would say. Until N level came falling into temptations again and again. I hate myself sometimes. I hate it when i give in to myself so much and go back to GOD when things is not going well. Not that i don't know GOD will be there for me to help me make my path right again, but i just don't have the heart to turn to him. Somehow or another, i do feel ashamed of myself, i feel so unworthy of his love. But i am sure everyone would agrees, noone can run away from GOD's love. And thank GOD for his love, because then you'll feel guilt, Then you will want to repent all.

And in some ways, GOD had shown me that he is really the way and the light. Because i realised that my most screwed times is during times when i left church or not doing very well in church. And when i am considered doing quite well, my life is much much more better. Not that it is always peaceful, but at lease not screwed. If you know what i mean. hee

Anyhow, i am going church later and i am feeling a little nervous. I don't know why so don't ask me why. haha. And i hope and pray that some bio pro can help me out. =))

Labels: my palm's aching

Nicole Christine Au
Eleven December 1987
Hongkonger