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.Sunday, December 31, 2006 ' 11:05 PM
Heart felts.

2007!! I WELCOME YOU WITH MY WILD OPEN ARMS!! AND YOU SHITTY 2006!! BYE BYE AND BE GONE!!

WENT TOWN FOR COUNTDOWN WITH CLIQUE-Y. HAHA.
WITHOUT AME THO. SHE HAS FAMILY GATHERING. AND I MISS HER =(( SO WE WENT CINE AND MET UP WITH KIM CHUA AND ELLE, OUTSIDE ROCKY MASTEER WE SAW FEL, ELAINE AND JIE MIN. SO WE ALL HAD DINNER AND MISSED COUNTDOWN COS WE WERE TAKING NEO PRINTS. HAHA. AND I REALISED THAT THE NEO PRINT'S WITH GIRLFRIEND. ^%#^%$

SLACKED OUTSIDE OCBC WITH FEL,ELAINE AND JIE MIN. LAUGHED LIKE SHIT. HAHAHAHA. SO FATTY, SKYE AND ZAN HAVE TO LEAVE FIRST AND I WAS LEFT BEHIND COS ZAN'S MAMA HAVE TO GO EAST COAST TO FETCH NAOMI SO CANNOT SEND ME HOME =((

SO I STAYED WITH FEL, JIE MIN AND ELAINE. WENT YOUTH PARK TO EAT AND TALK. LAUGHED LIKE SHIT TOO. HHAHHA

WENT FEL'S HOUSE AND TALKED AND LAUGH TOO. AND DECIDED TO SLEEP. I SWEAR, ELAINE MOVES ALOT. AND WHEN I SAY ALOT, I MEANT ALOT!!







.Saturday, December 30, 2006 ' 11:40 AM
Heart felts.

told you shuwen likes me. haha. hor girlfriend??

the usual stuff gaya will do. haah

the one and only clique photo!!

gaya's self motivate poster. or rather, paper.

my classmates

ENCOUNTER!!

my serene eyecandy

erma. another zan. cos she's forver asking me why....

this always happen when my phone's with them

no comments

cam whore session instead of re-test. haha

he might the love of my life okayy.

BESTEST FRIEND!! damn act cute la. haha. she was looking at the mosqitoe (spelling)

come join our act cute beng and lian club!!

valentine day with choonie =))

our formal photo

SRC junior 2006

lanthern festival.






. ' 8:24 AM
Heart felts.

oh yea. i passed the interview for nursing. so i have to go for the medical test and all. woot.

anyhow, i need mum to come home real fast to stock up the house. no more maggie at home. meaning i have nothing to eat. oh. i can cook porridge with centery egg/egg/sated egg. no meat tho. =(( nvm

i guess i would have to stay at home the whole day tmr cos my dad never give me money. so it means that i am back to square one. left without a single cent. but i really want to go for count down. as what gaya said. it is a good time that we all sit down together and wrap up the whole of 2006.

for me, i would say that 2006 hasnt been really a good year for me. it was supposely my quite important year. cos of N but i didnt really do well for it. my life was quite screwed by the two "very" kind lady, class hasnt been that helpful to me, netball wasnt playing well towards the ending of the year, relationship with family went a little bad in between and many others. BUT, god blessed me with my clique. which is the wonderful thing that had happened? haha. and i also want to thank god for sending people to really stay by my side during my down times. =))

alright, in this new year, i just want to achieve this few things

  1. remain a good relationship with every members in my family
  2. self-control
  3. treat my friends better
  4. minus fats
  5. continue to walk with god
  6. learn to be really resposible
  7. keep the aboves
SEE LA. DELETE MY BLOG FOR WHAT!! NOW I CANNOT LOOK BACK AT MY PAST YEAR'S RESOLUTION.





.Friday, December 29, 2006 ' 7:01 AM
Heart felts.

THERE'S NOTHING MUCH TO BLOG ABOUT TODAY ACTUALLY. ALL I DID WAS SWEEP AND MOP THE FLOOR. I WANTED TO WASH THE TOILET TOO BUT DECIDED NOT TO COS I'M FEELING RATHER TIRED.

i really hope to have a boyfriend who lives near me. so that when i want to go out for a walk, he can accompy me and we will walk round clementi. when i want to watch horror dvd. he can just comeby and watch it with me so that i can hug his arm tightly, cos i'm scared. and how nice would it be if noone's to cook for me, he will either pop up at my doorstep with food or cook for me. oh god!! he will go all the way to simei to eat lunch or dinner with me. I'M DREAMING!!!!





.Thursday, December 28, 2006 ' 4:50 AM
Heart felts.

So i went for the nursing interview today. it wasn't that day. But what really bothers me is that there's really malays. and i was like, ?!?!?!?!?!?! and how many lians and beng they want to have ah? LIAN JIE. I KNOW YOU REALLY WANT TO PROTECT ME AND ALL. BUT CAN YOU DONT SEND SO MANY OF THEM?? wo xin ling le. haha

anyway, i am really really really really sorry michelle. i didnt expect today to turn out like this. =(( dont angry alright?? sorry to makeyou wait for so for nothing. SORRY!!

ANYHOW, SCHOOL'S FROM 8-5. WHICH IS 9 HOURS??????????????????????? AND BY THE TIME CCA ENDS... WHY THEY DONT PROVIDE HOSTEL?? VERY INCONVENIENT FOR ME PLEASE. WAH LEW!!!





.Wednesday, December 27, 2006 ' 5:37 AM
Heart felts.

RAIN AND RAIN AND RAIN. ALL THE SKY KNOW IS TO RAIN. I WANT TO JOG, BUT CANNOT. HOW NICE!! ALRIGHT, SHALL JOG IN THE RAIN TOMORROW. CONFRIM DAMN NICE. I FEEL LIKE FALLING SICK. WOOHOO!! THEN I CAN GET MY DAD TO BRING ME TO THE DOCTOR. THEN HE WILL BRING ME TO EAT. THEN I WONT HAVE TO EAT NOODLES AGAIN. THEN MY BROTHER WILL COME HOME AND TAKE CARE OF ME. THEN I WONT BE ALONE AT HOME. WAH!! I'M DAMN SMART PLEASE. OKAYY. I SHALL GO JOG IN THE RAIN TOMORROW THEN I WILL FALL SICK. HOHOHOHOHOHO!!

Labels:






. ' 2:40 AM
Heart felts.

In year 2007,

I will be in ITE Simei studying Nursing as a year 1 student
I will be in Tennis and Netball / Tennis and Soccer.
I will be 20 years younger than a 40 year old man/woman


by then,

I hope i'll be with Mr Right
I hope i'll have a stable job
I hope i'll be doing well in church
I hope i can have a walkable room
i HOPE i can really stop eating


I want my life to be in a routin. go school. CCA/ work. go home.
Saturday will be morning jog. then breakfast, then church.
Sunday will be Yam Cha with dad.

Then this will go on and on until i graduate

In poly, this will still go on
so this will go on and on until i graduate from Poly.


anyway, i'll be getting me ITE Application result tomorrow. WISH ME LUCK!!
LUCK!! thanks





.Tuesday, December 26, 2006 ' 7:48 AM
Heart felts.

alright, i know this post is rather emo. but this is my blog, i shall blog whatever i feel like blogging.

i just realised that this is the third christmas we spent together. and i believe that the number will go on. but somehow this feeling aint good enough. cos i still want to have late night talks with you on christmas eve's night. just me and you.

tho i know this thought's rather impossible but i think i have a room for facinating in, right?

you'll never get to read this. even if you do, i doubt you know i am talking about you. i dont intent to and i dont want you to know. so this will just be a random post.

anyway. i should give myself a pat on the shoulder because this is is third night i'm spending alone at home. breakthrough okayy. hahahha

and i hate the weather. it is freaking cold please. i closed all the window and off every single fan at home. but i am still as cold like as though there's air-con in my houose. WTH!!





. ' 3:12 AM
Heart felts.

ALRIGHT, LETS START OFF WITH CHRISTMAS EVE!!

MET LIAN JIE AND AME BEFORE HEADING TO TAMPINES. THANK YOU LIAN JIE FOR THE COOKIES AND THE CARD =)) AND AME, IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU ON CHRISTMAS EVE!! SORRY I WASNT ABLE TO SPEND THIS DAY WITH YOU BUT I PROMISE TO BE THERE FOR COUNTDOWN?? YEAHYEAH??
HEE.

ALRIGHT, SO I HEADED TO CHALET AFTER TAKA. IT WAS NOT BAD. CENTRAL AB MADE SNADWHICHES. WE HAD EXTRA HAM LEFT. SO WE DECIEDED TO FINNISH IT UP BEFORE ANY OTHER COME IN AND STEAL IT FROM US. AND ANG JINQI MADE ME PEEL AND CUT LETTUCE AND SHAVE CUCUMBER AND CUT CUCUMBER. WHICH WAS OF NO USE IN THE END COS WE DIDNT NEED IT. WAH LEW. HAHA. SO CENTRAL C MADE SPPEGATTIE. (spelling) AND CENTRAL E PREPARE FOR THE BBQ. YUMMY?? YUMMY!! SO WE HAD A FEAST. OH GOD. I HAVE TO BLOG ABOUT THIS. I HAD 3 SANDWHICHES WHICH IS 6 HALF SANDWHICH. I ATE LIEK 10 COOKIES OR MORE. NS GUYS IS SPECIALIST IN BAKINIG PLEASE. HAHAHA. I ATE LIKE 2 PLATES OF SPPEGATTIE. I HAD 2 CHICKEN WINGS, 3 PLAIN SAUSAGES AND 2 CHILLI SAUSAGES. 5 CUPS OF ORANGE JUICE. AND GUESS WHAT. THE MOST CLASSIC IS I MET MY BROTHER FOR SUPPER RIGHT AFTER THE FEAST. CURRY FISH HEAD WITH RICE SOMEMORE. MY STOMACH WAS SO FULL THAT IT SEEMS LIKE I'M PREGNANT. AND WHEN I LIE DOWN. MY STOMACH IS EVEN BIGGER THAN MY BREAST. WHAT THE HELL LA. HAHHA

SO AFTER I WENT BACK. WE HAD THE DRAMA/CHEER THINGY. CENTRAL E WON THE $60 SWENSEN EARTHQUACK (spelling). BUT THEY DESERVES IT. THEIR'S WAS REALLY CREATIVE AND FUNNY AND MEANINGFUL. OKOK. BUT THE NS GUYS' ONE WAS REALLY REALLY FUNNY. HAHAHAHA.

SO WE HAD OUT FREE AND EASY AFTER COUNTDOWN. BUT I GUESS WE WERE TOO FREE TILL SANDY AND XUANTING DECIDED TO SIT AT THE CORRIDOR. SO I JOINED THEM. THEN MORE AND MORE PEOPLE START COMING TO JOIN US. SO!! I GOT TOO BORED SO I ROAM AROUND AND DIFFERENT ROOM PLAYS DIFFERENT GAME. PLAYED MAFIA AND MURDERER IN THE END. ALRIGHT. THAT'S THE END.

CHRISTMAS
WENT TO MEET MY DAD FOR YUM CHA AND WENT HOME TO CHANGE AND OUT AGAIN TO MEET SHARON AND CO TO BUY TIBITS. HEADED TO OUR COACH'S HOUSE AND HAVE OUR STEAMBOAT. OMG. DAMN FULL AGAIN. I THINK I AM REALLY REALLY VERY FAT. DAMN PIG. HAHA. ANYHOW, WE HAD OUR STEAMBOAT AT THE OPEN SPACE RIGHT OUTSIDE THE LIFT. DAMN HAPPENING PLEASE. THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING IS THAT, WE HAD OUR DRINKING SESSION THERE TOO. CAN YOU LIKE IMAGINE? CHIVAS AND STEAMBOAT OUTSIDE THE LIFT? HAHAHA. AND MIND YOU. IT IS NOT PENTHOUSE BUT JUST HDB FLAT. ???? HAHAHA.

THAT IS ALL FOR CHRISTMAS. TODAY, I WOKE UP AT 4. DAMN LATE PLEASE. I WANTED TO GO FOR A JOG TODAY BUT RAIN UNTIL LIKE THAT I GOT NOTHING TO SAY LA. AHAHHA.





.Saturday, December 23, 2006 ' 7:42 AM
Heart felts.

okayy. so i went for the christmas service today. I SHALL SAY THAT I NEVER REGRET A SINGLE BIT FOR GOING. because just the night before, i was contemplating between team dinner or church. cos i have to reach SRC by 5 but svc ends at 5. i didnt want to leave early because i dont like the idea of missing altar call again. so, i choose to stay throughout the whole thing. any team-mates happen to read this, i'm sorry.

anyway, i responded during the altar call. pastor Jeff was like " those out there, those who has yet come to know jesus and those who back slided from god. and today, you want to come back to god. you decided to slide back to god...." i was sure god spoken to me. because i had never felt so sure before. so, i raised my hands. so, i have rededicate my life to god. SO NICOLE IS A HAPPY GIRL THAT WAS LOST BUT NOW, FOUND. =))))))))

anyway, bonding was really nice. got to know a few new guys. SJI is really growing. hee.

CENTRAL CHALET!!!! BE THERE!!!! it is tmr btw.

alright, i've got to go off to write christmas card already. although i am EXTREMEMLY LASY TO.





.Friday, December 22, 2006 ' 7:04 AM
Heart felts.

do you think i should stay over at my dad's house? but i dont want to see claudia and auntie tina. cos she will ask me dad why i come and stayover. then she will know that my mother went taiwan for voluntary work. then she say start saying things about my mother, which i hate it whenever she do that. so, i dont know if i should go or not. but i dont want to stay at home alone at night. aiyah. very ma fan please.

oh, my mama just sent me a msg. saying that her phone low batt and she cannot charge there. asking me how. hmm. i dont know what to reply her.

anyhow, thank you michelle wong for your pizza!! thank you gayathri for leaving all the cups on the table and in the basin and thank you kim chua for disturbing everyone of us throughout the night.





. ' 12:12 AM
Heart felts.

alright, i do admit that i didnt really fancy you in the past. but after many things that had happened. i learn to accept you for who you are. cos i know i myself that my temper isnt that good either. if i dont like you until now, i wouldnt even make any conversation with you. i wouldnt bother to explain things to you when you misunderstand me.

if you think that i dont care because i never reply to your post or whatsoever. i hope you know that this is not the way i am feeling. it is because i want to talk to you face to face to explain things to you. so please, dont leave me or dont care about me. cos i dont want to lose you just because of some misunderstanding. it is not worth it.


anyhow, the below part is to puvin

although it is not like you will ever come to my blog and read this but i want to blog about this still. i think your actions is just as childish as a 3 year old kid. aravin is your brother, shouldnt you treat him nicer? you always take his pc his pillow and everything, have you ever asked for his permission? and what do you expect him to sleep on now that you take away his mattress? and you, ask a 19 year old guy. shouldnt you be old enough to think and act maturely? if you dont like aravin to talk on the phone so much, then tell him nicely. i am sure he will listen. there is no need for you to do things like calling uma's father up and tell him all this bull shits. find cigarette and condom in aravin's bag? if that is true, then okay. you can say that, but this are the things you will never find in aravin's bag. so you as a brother of his, hoe can you say such a lie about him to uma's father? do you know how hurting it is to break uma and aravin up? they are so loving and serious about this whole relationship. yet you ruin this just because you aint happy with aravin using the phone all the time. it is just a phone. i know you want to use the phone also. to call MANY girls. maybe loyalty and filial is the two thing you should really learn from aravin.





.Thursday, December 21, 2006 ' 10:50 AM
Heart felts.

alright, i shall just pray that my brother dont come home before everyone leaves. anyway, gaya and kim chua is here. fatty was here just now but her mama misses her so much that she wants fatty home so, she left.

miwong is coming over tmr afternoon to buy us food too. yummy. like i know what is she going to buy. hahaha

anyhow, i painted my nails glittery pink instead. cos i feel bad leaving this colour and the other hot pink out. gaya painted it for me. skills = U. hahaha. but still, thank you lor. hahaha

i am going to bathe now and sleep. kim chua says she's sleeping at 7am. alright, she shall walked around the whole house and keep smoking at the kitchen window until 7. haha. damn emo. hahahahha

euphoria, you should go. i say so. ahaha






.Wednesday, December 20, 2006 ' 7:08 AM
Heart felts.

So my mother is leaving for taiwan tmr. and my brother will only be home on weekends. whurt. i dont want to stay at home alone. so i shall either stay over at someone's place or go to my dad's house to stay over. how interesting. but i dont like his wife's face and especially claudia's face. I NO LIKE. ok, i shall not go on

Anyway, i've found a solution to go service. it is to pray to god that it willl rain. hohoho. but will only rain from 3-5. after that sunshine the whole city. haha. SO EVERYBODY WHO READ THIS, PLEASE PRAY FOR RAIN ON SATURDAY!! CAN IF YOU ARE FREE. COME FOR THE CHRISTMAS SERVICE ALSO.






.Tuesday, December 19, 2006 ' 11:54 PM
Heart felts.

after so many days of unwanted cancelled games. today is the only time i really hope it is cancelled. maybe is because i am really tired. but i think i really dont like this whole internal league thingy. things is becoming sucky you know. but i bet none of them realise. so we're left with today's and saturday's game. like, what the hell. out of all the saturdays. this saturday. which will the the saturday that my church is celebrating christmas.

dont ask me why i bother about christmas out of a sudden because i really dont know. i just want to have a touch of that. because i am SO going to stay home on sunday and monday. because nicole hates human crowd to the max of the max. so i will stay at home and listen to christmas song. and have my so-fabulous dinner, maggie noodle. again. because mama's going taiwan tomorrow and wont be back until 1st of january. so that means i should ask her to stock up maggies the next 12 days. so exciting please!! please feel my sacarsm.

BACK to the point. i wont be able to go for service. so i shall head home straight after game. OH, we are suppose to have dinner together after that. &#$#&

anyhow, attica was fun. like, at lease it gets me high. not like MOS, which was a bore. but it ended damn early, like 3? so we just slacked till 5 plus. believing that the first 147 bus comes in the same time as any other bus, which was suppose to be 5 plus in the morning. but no. the bus will come at 630. so poor nicole sat at the busstop half falling asleep waiting for the bus to come. with the chilling morning breeze that almost froze me.

cant wait for dinner with lian jie and fatty. tho we are only eating kfc. btu still, it's finger lickin good. okayy, this remind me to wash my hands before eating. oh my god. I DONT WANT TO GO FOR GAME!!!! unless i can get my shoe today. heeeeee





.Monday, December 18, 2006 ' 7:52 AM
Heart felts.

ANYWAY,

I DID NOT MIA FOR ANYONE. AND I DID NOT WANT TO MEET GAYA BECAUSE MICHELLE WAS THERE. I JUST WANT TO SAY THE LAST TIME, THAT I AM OVER MICHELLE WONG AND RACHEL KOH!! MICHELLE AND I ARE PLAINLY JUST FRIENDS NOW. AND AS FOR RACHEL KOH, I DONT THINK I HAVE TO SAY MUCH RIGHT?

SO... I HOPE YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND NOW.





. ' 7:03 AM
Heart felts.

so i finally top the class. like, after two years, i finally beat that irritating guy in my class. he was damn disappointed when he saw his name under mine please. call me mean, but still. who ask him to hao lian to me all the time. he think he's the best what. whatever.

anyhow, i expected myself to get 4-5. but i've got 7 in the end. whatever. i know i know, "7 not bad what!". ya i know it is not bad. but still. okayy, shall not touch on that or im going to tear already.

okayy. this is my testimonial form my teachers. feel damn proud of myself please.

Personal Qualities
Zhuo Xin has a proficient command of English and puts forth her views in a lucid manner and is asseertive without being overly aggressive. She demonstrates an ability to win over people with her views and show persistence in the duties and work. She is able to find positive humour and is commited to doing her best. She makes wise and fair assessment of an issue based on solid facts, works towars her personal goals and is not easily discouoraged by setbacks.

Zhuo Xin makes a strong impact with her peers and teachers. she demonstrates consideration for others in the community. She also exhibits decisive leadership ability in the course of her duties, often with a high level of energy and vitalilty. there is a strong sense of self-confidence in her.

anyway, i cant get back my result slip yet cos i haven pay up. so spoil mood la. so i have to go back school tmr to pay up SO that i can get my slip. then i shall sun bian ask my teacher to apply the course with me. cos i dont really understand the difference with nitec and trainee and whatsoever.

so i went all the way down to BOOST for nothing. cos i have to leave at 6 plus so vincent say that there's no point and say that they will call me again. which i guess it will be weeks later. anyhow, so i planned to go club first. but on my way there, i recieved a news that competition in cancelled. so i went home instead.


anyway, i know that some of you may not like the idea of me MIA-ing. but i hope that you can at lease respect my decision. i know i need this and some of you may not understand. i don't blame you because i believe that everyone has their own degree of needs. so you may not see it as the same way as i do. but please, at lease respect it. i dont feel good leaving you guys too. so please understand. thank you. i would really appreciate your understanding









.Sunday, December 17, 2006 ' 6:14 AM
Heart felts.

oh well, my mum's going to taiwan on thursday and she will only be back on 1st of jan. honestly, i'm not kidding. i think i would rather her stay there and not come back anymore. because i cannot stand it when she comes home and kept talking about it and kept flying to taiwan whenever she can. i'm losing the feeling of having a mum.

and my brother
i really cannot stand our fucking attitude please. you have all lots of comment on the things i do. this family have never give me a chance to take up extra lesson. anything that require money, NO. and now, i am fucking paying for my own dance lesson. i am paying for my own netball stuff. AND I HAVE FUCKING FORGOTTEN WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU GUYS PAID FOR ME. ALL OF YOU WILL ALWAYS COMPLAINT THAT I SPENT MY MONEY VERY FAST. AND WHEN I TELL YOU THAT I NEED TO PAY FOR THIS AND THAT, YOU ALL WENT "NEED MONEY ONE AH? THEN DONT GO LA, THEN NO NEED TO PAY ALREADY WHAT". FUCK!! REALLY. THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF. YOU WANT TO LIVE IN THAT KIND OF CONCEPT I DONT GIVE A FUCK. BUT IF YOU WANT ME TO THINK THE SAME WAY, I AM SORRY. COS IN THE FIRST PLACE, I AM FUCKING PAYING THIS WIHT MY OWN MONEY. SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD STAY OUT OF MY BUSINESS?


OH MY FUCK, I AM JUST SO FUCKING PISSED OFF PLEASE. everyone in the family is making me want to MIA from them also. i'm not sure if i can take this kind of crap everyday. not everyday actually. i'm starting school soon. which means i wont be at home almost all the time. since my school's so far. i'm going to join two cca. so by the time i end school. it's going to be damn late already. and by the time i come home, my mum's sleeping already. oh well, perfect. then means i dont really need to make that much of conversation with anyone.





. ' 12:43 AM
Heart felts.

alright, just came home from dance. went for break dance too. so i'm like, extra tired now. fun but very tiring. oh god. and only 5 people came for dance today. which is extra boring.


anyhow, my mum told me that she will have dinner with me tonight but...

me: mummy, please remember that you are suppose to have dinner with me tonight ok

she: aiyah, i'm meeting someone already wor

me: YAU MOU GAU CHOR AR? (something like, what the hell) you promise to have dinner with me tonight ga ma!

she: sorry la, supper!

me: sup your head ah! i dont want ah. bye


so it goes as predicted. alright alright, it is just going to be another maggie meal. i have been eating that ALOT. like every meal i have at home is maggie and maggie and still maggie.

SO!! tmr not N level result what. not excuting what. anyway, i'm a busy women. i need to go school for results, then i need to go down to boost for training, then down to SRC. so busy please. and i hate travelling almost half of singapore. waste of time. i mean, why cant the boss meet me on tuesday instead? right? right





.Saturday, December 16, 2006 ' 6:25 AM
Heart felts.

I DEMAND A POST ENTRY NOW. YOU BETTER APPEAR NOW.





.Friday, December 15, 2006 ' 8:04 PM
Heart felts.

alright. i just made a fool out of myself yesterday. pardon me people.

anyway, about MIA-ing. i did not make that decision because i want to forget or get over some people. yes it is true that they are part of the reason why. but still, not entirely. i just, want to spend more time with myself and really think how i want to lead my life. i am sorry clique, i am not abandoning you girls. god knows how much i love you. so please dont ever think for one second that i dont alright? it is not like i am not coming back ever again. get what i mean? just three months. i am still coming online everyday. mayeb sometimes i will bump into you guys in town on saturdays? that is if i'm going church.

see you people at march. then we can watch TMNT together.





.Thursday, December 14, 2006 ' 10:44 AM
Heart felts.

i feel like MIA-ing for a while.

because, town is boring, i'm seeing very little of my mother, i want to spend time with myself.

i miss those times when i used to jog in the late afternoon. buying grocery in cold storage. studying in holland. listening to jazz and class 95. i miss those days.





.Wednesday, December 13, 2006 ' 7:56 AM
Heart felts.

you know you dont really have to use those abusive words to bring my moral down. you gave birth to me so no point saying all those hurtful words to me because if you were to track down everything that you just said, it is you that you are insulting at the end of the day.

yada yada, you are always right. everything that you think is right must be right.

and this is the last time i would want to argue with you about the bloody volunteery work thingy. i said i dont want to go means i dont want to go. no need to say those kind of hinting words because you know it doesnt work on me. you dont want me to ask you go church, then dont ask me to go there. just stop coming home and start telling me this and that asked how am i doing and all. i hate it. forget about me okayy. just forget about me. wake up and face the reality that i'm already out of it.

and when you have an unpleasant dayout there, dont throw your temper and tantrum on me. because i am not the one who give you a hard day. you were the who taught me not to treat others the way you dont want others to treat you right? then why are you treating me this way?? oh yah, you are always right. i forgot about that. i dont mind you telling me what happened and whine to me, but not pick pointing at everything that i do.

say i cant take joke, you can? who is the one who yell and shout with anger when i said "wah!!! give you trophy"? it is you, not me. you cannot take joke then dont expect me to take your "bringing-your-joy-to-others-sorrow" joke.

even when i'm straight, i wear big shirt only you think i bung. what the hell la okayy. hello, it's a normal shirt with fbt. like that bung already i think there's really alot of bung.





.Tuesday, December 12, 2006 ' 8:18 AM
Heart felts.

dont treat me as a spare tyre or whatsoever because i dont like being treated that way. i am not a fool to be played around. so i think you should think before you do or ask for something. and please know that somethings have a significant meaning behind to indicate that this actions brings to certain level of relationship. so please stop doing whatever that you are doing. i do not qualify as a flirting candidate. i am sorry for everything that has happened yesterday, that i did not make the right choice. for i should be firm enough with the basic principle that we should not do that. forgive me for that. i am deeply sorry.

and since you are so bothered and feeling so f-ed up by everything that happened, i suggest you just let it go. before things worsen. as this is for the benefit for the both of us. you dont have to feel bad towards me since we are of nothing but just friends. but i guess after this incident, we will drift apart from each other, so maybe we should end this friendship too.

just a last message for you, i hope that after this incident, you will learn not to make anymore mistake like this. not everyone can let go so easily. and, thank you for your pizza and birthday card.


alright alright, SO THEY GAVE ME A SURPRISE TODAY!! HAHAH. ame acted like she's tired with bad mood, so she went off early. so we walked to heeren while waiting for lian jie to come. then, we realised that ame's paper bag's with us, so we went down to pass it to her. when we step out of heeren, i tured around and saw ame and zan holding a birthday cake and they all went "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (4X)". I LOVE YOU PEEPS SO MUCH PLEASE. ALTHOUGH GIRLFRIEND IS NOT HERE BUT I KNOW YOUR HEART IS WITH US!! AHAHA. THANK YOU CLIQUE FOR THIS SURPRISE. IT WAS REALLY UNEXPECTED. SO NOW WE KNOW THAT THEY ALL CAN ACT. HAHAHAH.

i finally see you.





.Monday, December 11, 2006 ' 8:20 AM
Heart felts.

happy birthday nicole!! remember that you are 16, not 19 =))

thank you everyone for wishing me!! although my eyecandy never msg me. not like she will. so.. nvm. anyway, ya, thanks for wishing my happy birthday!!

i need to bath. bye





.Sunday, December 10, 2006 ' 3:28 AM
Heart felts.

I'M SAD. VERY.
BECASUE;

MY MAMA DONT WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME BECAUSE SHE JUST CAME BACK FROM HER TSU CHI VOLUNTARY WORK CAMP AND SHE WANTS TO REST

MY BROTHER IS STILL ANGRY WITH ME BECAUSE I WORE HIS VERY-LONG-NEVER-WEAR-ALREADY SHOE. AND HE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH HIS FRINEDS

MY FATHER DONT WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME BECAUSE HE WANTS TO PLAY BADMINTON.


THIS IS NOT IIMMEDIATE FAMILY. I THINK IT'S MORE OF DISTANCED FAMILY. (*&#%@$#&^*^@%^#%^@#





WSSS basketball. guess which one is me





i love you SB




I LOVE MY CRAZY SCANDALOUS BUNCH




i love you long hair




he is not my boyfriend




buddy!! i hate you




drummer of RONIN. MY FEI JAI!!




i miss you stacey!!




though you went thailand when my birthday's tmr, but i still love you




I LOVE/MISS YOU HONGKONG!!!




I LOVE YOU LIMKARMUN!!




I LOVE YOU GIRLFRIEND AND AMELIA




SPASTIC KARMUN




REKA!!!




LIAN JIE!!




I LOVE YOU GIRLFRIEND!!




MOVIE PARTNER!!




I dont really like you but still, hi claudia




LIMKARMUN AGAIN!!




AME JIE




FAIZ!! YOU ALWAYS STEA; MY HAIRBAND




UN NAH, VERY NICE ALREADY LA




FINALLY. AND I'M THE ONLY FORMAL ONE.




I LOVE YOU TO THE MAX SI DANG!!! BUT I WILL LOVE YOU MORE IF YOU SEND ME ZHANG TING JUN'S PICTURES =))))






AND OF COS, I LOVE YOU TOO TEAMMATES!!




LOVE YOU SIS!!




SNPWJ (without J= julia)





LOVE YOU CHOONYEE!!




THE ONLY THREE HONGKONGER IN SCHOOL.




WITH HOLY MAMA AND SANDY





.Saturday, December 09, 2006 ' 11:30 PM
Heart felts.

you know what?? i'm 20 next year. 20

i dont know is i am ready for this. i feel so old.

oh god, i want to go back to secondary school. i want to wear uniform. i miss my uniform. i miss my tie and badge. i miss my white-turn-grey shoe. i miss writting on my shoe. i miss playing netball everyday after school. i miss walking to the back to buy bubble tea. i miss having mr quek chasing us to go home cos they have to lock the gate. i miss monday when i have to take the pledge with rhe mic not on sometimes. i miss the malay store's nasi lemak. i miss the fruit store's auntie cos she will always leave one packet of guava full of sour palm powder and a packet of papaya in the fridge for me. i miss walking to the furthest water cooler to drink water cos i'm damn bored in class. and then i miss getting out of school once the bell ring and head down to serene. i miss computer lesson and EOA prac cos me and aravin will talk and talk and talk like nobody's business. oh god. i miss aravin. i miss walking out of school during recess. i miss sleeping in class. i miss staying in class for recess. tho abit loner but i still like it.

and then, i miss st margs. i miss having kwan wai and gang irritating the shit out of me. i miss sitting outside class crapping. i DONT REALLY miss having teachers picking on me everyday. i miss westhern store auntis callling "CHRISTINE!!" with me standing right at the end of the queue. i miss walking to coro to cosy corner and ke ai ji and walking to serene.


AIYAH, I MISS BEING 14,15 AND 16





. ' 7:57 AM
Heart felts.

SLEPT AT 5 PLUS YESTERDAY AND GOT WOKEN UP BY AME AT 6 PLUS. COS SHE CALLED THE WRONG NUMBER. %^@#^%$

ANYWAY, MICHELLE IS A PIG FAT PIG. SHE SLEEP, THEN SHE EAT, THEN SHE SLEEP AGAIN.

WENT FOR CONCERT JUST NOW. THANKS FOR PAYING FOR THE CAB AND MAKING YOU GUYS WAIT. HAHA. SORRY SORRY.

HAD DINNER AT SERENE!! YES!!!! SERENE!!!!! I MISS SERENE SO MUCH. WEEE

I FEEL LIKE GOING FOR THE BREAK DANCE CLASS TMR BUT GAYA'S NOT GOING. SO I'M LIKE, ALONE?? SHALL CONSIDER NOW. HAHHAA





.Friday, December 08, 2006 ' 7:48 AM
Heart felts.

"i scared i fall for you now."

so do you like me or not?? enlighten me.

if you were mine
i'd be your everything
and you'd be the only thing
that i would ever need
if you were mine
i would tell everyone
that you are the only one
that i could ever want

everything i dream about
everything i talk about
one thing i can't live without
i wanna get closer to you
can't stand being far away
knowing that you dont feel the same way
watching him bring tears to your eyes

all the words i sing about
all the letters i write about
the only thing i want to hear about
so can i get closer to you
i know there's someone else
but he is only thinking of himself
doesnt make any sense
for you to be lonely

let me be the one who share your hopes and dreams
you'll never be alone again cause i will hold you endlessly
please dont be afraid to let your broken heart guild you
into these open arms that long to surround you





. ' 3:42 AM
Heart felts.

i'm feeling fucked up. very.





.Thursday, December 07, 2006 ' 9:40 PM
Heart felts.



the place very nice right??



auntie and i



working as a free label



copy cat one lo.



told you. he dont like to put twist one okayy. and he copy me



MY MOST BELOVED MOVIE PARTNER!! SANTHIYA!!!!



LIAN JIE AND I. I KNOW I LOOK DAMN ACT CUTE.



THE FATTY



AGAIN!! SANTHIYA!!! MY LOVE!!







Her.

Nicole Christine Au
Eleven December 1987
Hongkonger


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